A word of caution about wanting her to stay. Listen closely.
If your burning desire is for her to stay with you...to just make it like it was before...or to take away your fear of being rejected and left all alone, you're probably going to end up divorced.
Why?
Because that's part of what most wives are "done with" too.
If the moment she says, "Okay, I'm staying." you breathe a huge sigh of relief, grab a beer, ask her for sex and then grab a tee time for Sunday...you've missed the point.
I want YOU to be done too.
I want you to be done with your marriage the way it was.
Marriage 1.0 needs a serious upgrade. Version 2.0 is essential and it can't be delayed another year in testing.
This means Version 2.0 of YOU must be your top priority.
This does NOT mean you must become a flailing white knight who falls over himself each hour checking in with her to see how can serve her Highness. (She's done with that crap too, by the way.)
Version 2.0 of you has new expectations of himself and how he shows up.
* He's not an angry, over-reacting guy anymore.
* He's not secretly pissed off and afraid of her.
* He's not distracting himself with lazy, unproductive habits.
* He is available, engaged and responsive to her without neediness.
* He has a new sense of mission...self of self...and clarity about HOW he wants to be.
And he doesn't waste time talking about it! (She's done with that too, by the way)
Version 2.0 of your relationship will require BOTH of you to upgrade your skills, your thinking and your habits.
You get to go first. Why? Because. That's why.
Men go first because they choose to, regardless of what anyone else is doing.
Period. (And, she's done with going first, by the way)
*****
Tomorrow, I want you to try something new.
If you relate to this email, it means time is wasting.
Simple rules. Tomorrow is "remove all pressure" day.
1. Don't ask any questions about the relationship.
2. Don't argue about ANY stupid stuff.
3. Pay attention, really pay attention, when she is talking to you. Allow silence when she paused and wait for more. Listen. Don't analyze or fix a damn thing.
4. Find something that makes you laugh...I mean really makes you laugh. (this is important)
Do this the second day and then the third day.
Then shoot me an email to tell me if you did it and how you felt. (we don't care if it "worked" or not). This is an accountability step.
Most men are not accountable to anyone for being better.
Most men are lone rangers in their relationships and have ZERO deep, meaningful and productive conversations with other smart men.
Most men are getting divorced simply because they don't know HOW to make the effort needed to stay married and create a better relationship.
Do you want to know more?
And about how to string together more good days than bad? How to start Version 2.0 of you?
Either I or one of my amazing coaches will contact you right away if you send in this incredibly personal contact form. (I'm always amazed how much detail guys put in this thing)
*****
If you're a man who has been reading these emails or watching GG2GM videos for awhile, you might be thinking it's time to sh*t or get off the pot.
Is it time for you to get engaged with other men doing this kind of stuff every day?
I want to bring your attention to one of the coolest retreats going on in September. It's in Hurricane, Utah, just north of Las Vegas.
Our coaches Dennis Collins and Matt Epsky are hosting the Grounded Man Golf Retreat and invited me to be a special guest. I can't wait.
And guess what. I SUCK at golf! I don't care and I want you to not care too. This retreat includes so much more than the golf activity.
Take a look at what is planned at this all-inclusive getaway and think about joining us. There a few spots still open. I'd love to have a drink with you in the evening watching a gorgeous sunset and learning more about the life you're creating for yourself.
Lotta love, brother.
Steve
P.S. We just had a cancellation for the October Ranch Retreat in Colorado which means ONE SPOT opened up. Want to grab it?
