Hello men -
Today can be a very tough day for fathers who are going through a marriage crisis.
Even if you don’t have kids, it can still be very hard if you don’t have a close relationship with your own father. It can bring up all kinds of painful memories.
And if things are particularly difficult between you and your runaway wife, just the logistics of spending time with your kids can be stressful.
Worst of all, the feelings of sorrow, grief, guilt, and anger can come on strong when you think thoughts like “this is not how it’s supposed to be!”
On one hand, Father’s Day is “just another day.” Sometimes recognizing that is the best way to get through it. The truth is, when you have children, EVERY DAY is father’s day (and mother’s day too.)
So why not just ignore it? Good question.
Because Father’s Day is not for you. It’s for your children. It gives them a chance to acknowledge to themselves (and to you) on one day, just how important your presence in their lives is EVERY DAY.
And it’s yet another chance for you to show them how a great dad behaves, loves, and cares.
Here are some reminders of the value your full involvement has for your children:
- Consistently being in your children’s lives, whether in person or phone or zoom, especially when the logistics are challenging, teaches your children that they matter. It show them they are worth the maximum effort, no matter how difficult.
- They know that they have someone to go to when they are struggling, hurting, or confused. And in doing so, you teach them how to be there for others. Your actions have a direct impact on how empathetic and compassionate they become.
- Children learn mostly by watching and absorbing. Your example models to them what a Great Man acts like. When they grow up, your sons will want to emulate that and your daughters will look for that in a partner.
- Studies have shown that children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression. Boys do better in school and girls have higher self-esteem.
- Most importantly, children learn about love first within the parent/child relationship. The ability to give love is directly related to the love we receive, especially during childhood. If children feel authentically loved by a father they will grow up knowing how to love others.
We recognize that there’s not a lot of conversation and support out there about the specific value of fathers. We are doing our part to rectify that.
We want you to remember that even if it feels like no one is paying attention, there are those who are: your kids.
They are waiting for your phone call, watching out the window, looking for your car, counting the days until they get to spend time with you. They don’t need special gifts or trips to Disneyland. What they crave is your attention, your unwavering love, and your calm, kind, and loving consistency.
So here’s to you Great Fathers and Great Sons. Don’t forget that to your children and to your own fathers, every day is Father’s Day.
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