When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.
~ Viktor E. Frankl - A Man's Search for Meaning
Allow me to say this as plainly as possible. No more lofty quotes.
After the shell shock of hearing "I want space." or "I'm not in love with you." or "I think we need to divorce." is over, you have only ONE effective choice to make.
That choice is to learn something and grow from it.
I know your first instinct is to scream, argue, analyze, investigate and FIX things so you can get back to your regularly scheduled program.
Here's a message from the Emergency Broadcast System:
It's too late. You're already into a new program. The old program has been cancelled.
The next questions are always WHAT should I do? And HOW can I see this in any other way than total devastation??
You could write a book to answer those questions. Actually I did.
Let me give you the CliffNotes version
- You should step back and stop what you're doing right now. Just stop.
- Release all pressure including angry outbursts, accusations, arguing and those long, deep, heavy conversations.
- Find at least ONE initiated man who has already been in this war and emerged victoriously and talk with him regularly.
- Take a deeeep breath and begin a spiritual journey of knowing ALL good things in your life will come from leaning into discomfort and looking for the gift and opportunity.
- Decide you WILL learn from this and figure out how to change yourself in the face of unchangeable circumstances.
- BELIEVE deep in your heart that you're okay at this moment and you will be okay...no matter what happens.
That last one is especially important and especially difficult for many men.
They have no basis for this belief and, therefore, no ability to even imagine being "okay" in any other scenario than the one they were expecting.
In coaching we are able to DIVE MUCH DEEPER into those expectations and those insecure feelings of abandonment, rejection and emotional evisceration. As I mention in the video, a man can reach a vantage point in this process that LIBERATES him from those feelings.
Sadness? Yes. Guilt? Yep. Regret? Almost certainly.
But shame, suffering and illusions of devastation are a CHOICE.
And therein lies the big secret.
Change your thoughts and you will change your reality.
Dan Dore and I would love you to join us at that vantage point. The view here is awesome.
*****
If you don't want to do this all by yourself, here are some great options for you.
You can choose to join me and Dan Dore in the GG2GM Live Men's Roundtable. We meet twice a month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful secret Facebook group of 80 men. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month. Bet you
can't do just one month!
You can confront your fear of asking for help and ask for a free consultation call to dive long and deep into what you want and get some immediate ideas on how to create that.
So...let me ask you two questions.
What are you THINKING right now?
What OTHER thoughts are actually more true and more empowering for you?
Lotta love brother,
Steve
P.S. If you haven't yet read my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband you can find it HERE. If you, for ANY REASON, can't purchase this book, just hit reply and tell me. I'll send a free PDF version to you right
away.
