Hey,
It's so counter-intuitive most men refuse to even try taking this advice.
They say:
If I follow this stupid advice I'll be giving her exactly what she wants and THAT is to be rid of me! She will only move farther away!
So they keep doing what they are doing with zero results.
More pursuit. More pressure.
More avoidance. More distance.
More anger. More resentment.
In a few weeks I'll hear back from these guys asking for another call.
When I get them to breathe, slow down and listen I will then explain WHY the "stupid advice" is so important.
The MOST EFFECTIVE thing a man can do to cause an IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT in his relationship is this simple process.
It's based in the counter-intuitive principle of LESS is MORE.
*****
Step 1: Ask fewer questions about your relationship and her feelings
Step 2: Make fewer attempts to make her physically connect with you
Step 3: Stop talking so much about how bad you feel and what you need
Step 4: Stop talking so much about stuff you're reading about marriage
Step 5: Stop giving so many f*cks about what she is thinking, who she is talking to, why she's so unhappy and what you need to do to make her like you
Step 6: Spend less time alone and wallowing in your own anxiety and urgency to fix everything now.
*****
The reason this 6-step process has an immediate beneficial effect on your relationship is because it immediately reduces the PRESSURE.
Emotional neediness, interrogations, expectations and urgency to soothe your fears are all forms of PRESSURE.
Pressure is immediately repulsive, scary and unattractive.
Pressure is how you got to this point to start with.
Your job now is to create the OPPOSITE of pressure.
An important part of creating the opposite of pressure is spending more productive, healthy and growth oriented time with yourself.
Men who begin to take care of their own emotional and intellectual needs are immediately more attractive and trustable.
Men who take care of their own sense of confidence and well-being are immediately more emotionally safe for women.
This post was made yesterday in our secret Facebook group where men like this hang out. (this is word for word)
*****
Hey Brothers. Been a while since I posted and just wanted to check in. Things still going well between my wife and I. I'm totally outcome independent now and don't feel any impatience.
She senses this and is chattier than ever - laughing and sharing with me daily. Still a long, long way to go for us both, but I feel....content and in charge of my life again.
Thanks to all of you and for the course - It gave me so much guidance through this uncharted territory. Feel free to reach out to me if you need anything guys.
*****
These kinds of posts warm my heart.
He has taken charge of himself and his responses to her.
He has taken ownership of his own patience and contentment.
And he feels confident enough to help other men who are still trying to figure out the process!
This is where we teach the process.
