Hey,
I talked to a man today whose wife has been detached, disinterested, dismissive and disrespectful.
She wants her space and independence and has pretty much designed a life of her own including weekends and vacations. She thinks he should find his own life too and learn to be happy.
He said he wanted to stop reacting so badly and learn to respond better to this new dynamic she's created.
"What's the difference between reacting and responding in this case?" he asked.
I told him that reactions come from a place of fear and insecurity.
They almost always sound like questions and veiled threats with a nervous voice. They sound like this:
1. Why can't you spend more time with me?
2. What do you get with your friends that you can't get with me?
3. What do I have to do to get you to like being with me?
4. If you don't start staying home on weekends, I'm not going to be very happy at all with that!
I know what it's like to have that nervous, "little boy" energy and it sucks. Just as the words come out of our mouths we're hating who we're being.
And we know it's a big part of why she doesn't want to hang around.
But what should a man do instead?
What does a masculine RESPONSE look like?
How can you get her attention without feeling like a whiner?
I explain that in this video.
- Why your reactions are making things worse
- What you need most to respond clearly and confidently
- How a clear, masculine response actually sounds when you are confronting her elusive behavior
- Why you don't need threats or ultimatums
