What Old People Can Teach You About Curing Your Sexless Marriage

Published: Sun, 11/01/20

Hey,

The words "sexless" and "marriage" aren't supposed to be in the same sentence, are they?

But it's one of the most popular Google searches by both men and women in struggling relationships.

Just hearing the phrase, "sexless marriage" puts a knot of shame and anxiety in the gut of the man suffering with the condition.

And a common condition it is!

In this video interview I did with Silke Schwarzkopf of 2nd ACT TV (for people over 50) we both share our own experiences with sexless marriages.

Looking back at the interview, I was surprised how damn comfortable I've become talking about it, sharing my experience and talking with women about it.

It's no longer a deep, dark, shameful secret hiding in my soul.

In fact, becoming clear, confident and comfortable in how I THINK and TALK about it has been the #1 cure for my "condition"

It's a paradox.

The more comfortably vulnerable we get with a particular pain or discomfort, the less power it has over us.

That means being open, honest and vulnerable about your sex life is a STRENGTH...not a weakness.

You can use this strength to become a more calm, patient, self-assured, self-respecting and unapologetically sexual man.

This is a man with natural mojo. It's what you may have had at the beginning of the relationship and it's what fades quickly after the wedding.

And that's where this video begins.

I had a blast in this interview which you may notice when you watch it.

(leave a comment for Silke while you're at it)

Relationships and Intimacy after 50: Dealing with a Sexless Marriage? What Men Need to Know!

"I wish I knew this stuff when I was 30!"

That's one of the most common sentiments we get from men in our community.

I've said it too.

Watching two 50-somethings talk about sex may seem irrelevant to you. But it's the screwing up and finding solutions that bring wisdom.

The KEY THING about learning how to be comfortably vulnerable is knowing who you can trust.

You might make the mistake of thinking you should unleash your sack of dark and scary feelings about sex with your wife.

Yeah. I said it's a mistake.

You might say, I thought I was supposed to be able to be open and honest with my wife?? Isn't that what she wants!!??

No. In this case, it is NOT what she wants. Not right now. (maybe later)

She needs you to figure this out on your own.

She wants to FEEL (not talk about) your transformation.

When you transform from a desperate, frustrated, tentative, angry, eggshell walking man into patient, calm, deliberate, happy, sexually confident man, that's when you will have her full attention.

No words required.

This new you will be the result of you becoming open and honest with other men who have been in your shoes.

It feels safe, strong, welcoming and wise. There is nothing you can say that is wrong, weird, stupid or silly.

Nothing. And this is where a man learns the truth about his old way of being and how it constantly messed up his romantic life.

This is where men learn that the next 30 years of life is going to be pretty flippin' amazing!

*****

I always tell guys they can take the slow boat and do a DIY dive into all of our free content. See the link in the P.S. for my $8.00 book.

But, when guys get serious, they decide it's time to actually speak to an experienced GG2GM coach. These conversations last about 1.5 hours and change your whole week. You can submit our contact form.

You can join the unparalleled Men's Live Coaching Roundtable and dip your toe for 30 days into the community for $69.

Or if you're facing possible separation or divorce, you must take a look at the sample coaching videos in the How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb online course.

The depth and intelligence of the men in these groups will blow your mind. It's the safest place to share your story and begin changing the direction of your life and relationship.

Lotta love, brother,

Steve

P.S. My book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband drills a hole in your head and reveals all the thoughts you're having about marriage and then it tells you what to do next! Click that link to get it.

Here's what a recent reader said:

"Reading this book was as if someone had been following me and writing down everything going on with my marriage and my mind. Great solutions for big problems."

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