When I was in my hovering days, this was the underlying question behind most of my questions.
Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Do you still love me?
Do you still want me?
It’s embarrassing as hell to admit I was that guy for some time. I sought continual reassurance that everything was okay. That I would be okay.
Insecurity sucks. And it’s magnified about 100 times toward the end of a marriage. It’ll eat a man alive.
I was a typical hummingbird husband. To the outside world I was a model of calmness and stability. At work and social situations I was Mr. Cool. It was not an act. I really was Mr. Cool.
But I could never figure out where Mr. Cool went when I was in my own house.
Like I said, insecurity sucks. And it seems to be most triggered in our romantic relationships – inside our own home.
Yeah, I’m Okay
If you can relate to any part of the hummingbird husband’s story, I want you to know one important fact. Do not doubt me on this. Remember, I am a leading authority.
You’re okay.
Really, you are. All of that blabbering, hovering and interrogating is just a little self-doubt.
Your overactive mind and anxious heart is just a matter of a little self-esteem recalibration.
While I am definitely not an expert on male insecurity or the underlying baggage causing it, I do know this. You have the power of choice.
I’ve witnessed too many men simply choose to stop with the hummingbird act and adopt a healthier perspective of themselves and their lives. They did enough introspection and inner work to allow themselves to experience an epiphany. A BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious).
It sounds like, “My wife and my marriage are not and have never been the source – or the measure – of my value. I’m okay, dammit. I’m okay!”
When these guys decided to change their operating system, it was like moving their mojo setting from hummingbird to mountain lion. They embraced a whole new demeanor. It’s best described as a calm, deliberate and pleased energy.
It’s not an act. They really are a mountain lion.
They feel cool headed, secure, regal, aware, curious, playful, loving, protective, brave, sensitive and caring.
You may find them on a high rock casually flipping their tail and letting out a huge yawn before taking a nap in the sun.
No more doubts. No more questions. Heart rate – 40.
From that vantage point, anything is possible.
If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then there are 3 ways we can help you change that quicker than you'd believe:
