In TWO ways.
First, it's about having FRIENDS.
Many, many men tell us they have reached the ripe age of 40-ish and, while they have an active work and family life, they have ZERO FRIENDS of the male persuasion.
They are "friendly" men who sometimes claim to the "people persons" but aren't sure why they have let all of their past friendships die. And they aren't sure how to develop new friends. They have work, kids and wife duties...but no friends.
It's especially obvious when we start having relationship or marriage problems that the lack of high quality male companionship becomes so obvious and scary.
Here's a difficult realization.
In my case, I was a good "people person" who really wasn't a very good "friend".
I would wait for people to reach out...to call me...to invite me...to want to be my friend. Even after we would connect I would always wait for THEM to initiate contact.
I sucked as a friend. I was mostly distracted, self-absorbed and dismissive about the chemistry required for true friendship.
Only later in life did I really become aware of how important it is to send the first email, make the first call and extend the first invitation. I'm still work in progress on that front.
It's like any skill. It must be practiced. And then you must be consistent. Coach Dennis Collins in my coaching team is one of the best I've ever seen at this. He's so mindful and action oriented in friendship. As a result he's got ton's of close friends.
Who is ONE MAN you know who would love to hear from you this weekend? I'm humbly suggest you reach out and begin a new season of consistency in being a "good friend".
*****
The SECOND way this fire inspired me in the way is a little weird.
These wildfires always start with a small spark, or sometimes, a big spark of lightning. But it's always just a little bitty action that gets it going. And like a wicked cancer it slowly multiplies the sparks and then it grows to proportions nobody imagined possible.
We often think that only bad stuff like fire and cancer behave like this.
My insight from the fire is that GOOD STUFF behaves the same way!
For every single man who "does the work" we offer, he finds that his calm, confident, patient sense of well-being and contentment grows steadily.
It starts with a small spark of insight and effort.
Then that spark is fanned with the flames of self-confidence.
And that confidence becomes rooted in a crystal clear declaration of who he is, what he believes, what he wants and where he is going.
Last night I dreamed I was cycling on a woodland path and facing a huge ... almost in surmountable... slope. I looked at my feet, kept peddling and although moving slowly... I was able to cycle UP the slope and reach level ground!! I think that was an accurate description of what I have been doing.
