You are always in control of how you feel about yourself, you decide your value as a man - no-one else.
When we react to rejection negatively, it communicates what we really think of ourselves. We give our value away to someone else to decide.
But rejection is really just a clash in perspectives in that moment.
It's not a judgement of your value.
Rejection is ALL about the perspective of the person doing the rejecting. It doesn't mean anything more than you choose to make it mean.
It's not about you. It's not a personal attack.
In fact your response is the most important thing. For your self respect. For your self esteem. For your future. And for her.
From her side, rejection is often a subconscious test to feel the conviction you have in your own value and your drive to create what you want to experience.
Rejection is NOT validation.
Just because someone rejects something about you or rejects something you do, does not mean that that thing is actually wrong. Or that it will be unwanted by everyone.
But that's what we're communicating when we take it personally and get upset. That she is the controller of our life and self worth. That our only route for fulfillment is through her.
If you want a passionate, sexual intimate relationship, you have to be prepared to risk rejection to have it.
Women like to feel the courage and self assuredness of a man who knows she could reject him and yet he still moves ahead anyway.
The WAY you repond is key.
Keeping an upbeat tone, that is unoffended and unconcerned with her words of rejection is so important.
She has a different perspective to you - so what - accept it and move on. Perspectives are constantly changing as are moods and emotions.
When we react negatively she feels that our care and respect for her are conditional and untrustable and she's right to reject you.
When we react negatively we are coming from a place of fear and guess what - that creates fear in her body too.
You can't negotiate her to join you in something fun and connected from that place of insecurity and fear.
Instead, invite her into joining you from a place of self respect and unshakeable self worth.
Consistency is key. Belief in yourself is key.
She will only trust your offer of connection when she feels it is secure and doesn't need her approval.
How do you get rock solid self worth?
What if rejection was just a gate across the road and finding your self worth and security in who you are was the key to opening it?
So my question for you is...
Do you take up the challenge to take charge of your self worth so that no-one can do anything to take it away from you again?
I guarantee it will completely transform the connection and intimacy in your relationship.
In our coaching we take men through an intense program to build your self worth to the point where it is unshakeable. You no longer doubt yourself or your ability to handle future rejections with the lack of concern they truly require.
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The Men’s Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Steve and I lead this community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The support and camaraderie in this
group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world.
We love teaching men these tools – how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs.
What if this next year everything changed for you?
That’s what we want for you.
