Hey,
Meet Paul.
Paul freaking hates horses.
Well, "hate" is too strong. He's more afraid of horses which, to the horse standing in front of him, feels really uncomfortable.
The horse is dancing nervously, her eyes are bugging out a bit and she's pulling back hard against the lead rope in Paul's hand.
You can see the white in his knuckles as he is afraid to loosen his grip.
Paul looked me and said, What now? Because whatever I'm doing ain't working.
I asked him, What do you want?
He said, I want her to relax and just stand still next to me.
Then I told him, Well, you're going to need to show her that YOU are relaxed and not afraid of her or what she might do.
How exactly do I do that?, he said.
He looked confused when I said, You don't need to do anything. You just need to show her that YOU are relaxed and be more clear about what you want.
*****
There are 3 questions for which most men don't have clear answers.
Tim Wade and I spent the whole weekend with Paul and 9 other guys having fun and working on getting clear on these questions.
1. Who are you?
2. What do you REALLY want?
3. Where are you going?
By the end of the Ranch Retreat, Paul was a whole new man. He learned how to BE more calm, clear and deliberate with his horse and she loved it.
Paul and Sparky spent about 6 hours together over the weekend and their relationship went from tentative and scary to confident and connected.
And Paul knew exactly what had been going wrong at home. He couldn't wait to get back to his family wearing this new energy of calm clarity and confidence.
Happens every time.
And that's why Tim and I love this retreat so much.
In the video below, we tell the 3-part story about Paul and how we helped him make this switch over the course of 4 days.
