Your Marriage Sucks? Only TWO THINGS Can Change That

Published: Sun, 12/08/19

Hey,

This quotation has been following me around for years. It haunts me every now and then with its stark truth and implied personal challenge.

Only two things change your life: either something new comes into your life, or something new comes out of you.

~ Brendan Burchard

The part that gets me is the implied threat that if I don't figure out something new to come out me then I'll just be sitting around waiting for stuff to happen to me.

I will remain a victim of my circumstances and a puppet for the priorities of others.

I don't know about you but that makes me feel really agitated.

I spent much of the first half of my life reacting to surprises coming my way. I would gladly accept the good things that fell into my lap and begrudgingly tolerate the bad things I didn't like.

When it comes to the quality of our romantic relationships we often make the same mistakes.

We treat good days as pleasant surprises.

And we treat bad days as unpleasant inevitabilities.

When we operate this way we feel a total lack of influence over our relationship experience. Our feelings of connection, intimacy and confidence are fleeting and unpredictable.

And THAT is what keeps a man on edge. Grouchy. Irritated.

He feels alone and powerless because he is waiting for something new to come into his relationship while nothing new is coming out of him.

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Abe Lincoln's quote to right speaks to the common problem with the pursuit of happiness.

It's not a "pursuit" after all. It's a DECISION.

And most people's unhappiness in life and in their relationships comes from bad habits and bad choices.

In other words, I believe happiness in life and relationships is a LIFESTYLE.

And with consistency in our lifestyle of habits and choices come the results.

Unhappiness is caused by the mistake of getting the order wrong.

If we're looking for connection, intimacy and confidence to come from somewhere OUTSIDE of us, unhappiness is the very predictable and consistent result.

I talk more about this cold, hard truth in this video.

Your Marriage Sucks? Only TWO THINGS Can Change That

Is it Really That Simple?

In theory, yes.

In practice, no.

Why?

Because every man is capable of an INTELLECTUAL understanding of everything I just said.

But, the real work and the real journey require you to adopt a deep emotional and spiritual connection to this truth.

And when a man does THAT...and he makes the commitment to consistently developing better habits and better choices he sees results very quickly.

The hard part comes in 3 key areas.

1. You must declare and own your new habits and choices with clarity and without apology.

2. You must be accountable and consistent.

3. You must have other initiated men to support and encourage you every day.

I've found it's virtually impossible to succeed at those 3 things on your own. You will get fuzzy headed, wishy-washy, inconsistent and unfocused. Then you'll slide back into the bad habits and choices that created your current reality.

Well, that's what happened to me anyway. I'm fairly confident it happens to all men.

This is why we've created many options for you to succeed.

And after many years and hundreds of men I can promise you one thing.

This shit works.

*****

The Men's Live Coaching Roundtable is a powerful collection of men from around the world working together to transform themselves and their relationships. Dan Dore and I lead this secret Facebook community with 5 other professional coaches. We have live coaching video calls twice per month. The camaraderie in this group is something missing from the lives of too many men in the world. ($69/month)

This is what men say who join these groups:

You guys have helped me greatly. I wish I had your phone number to share this transformation. I am still rewatching much of this course to retrain my brain. I shared the mountain lion persona with my counselor and she loved it! Y’all are actually doing Gods work helping men like me trying to live right.

Thank you. ~ Jon T. (Georgia)

The online course How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a deep and intense dive into handling yourself when you hear, "I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore." This brand new course has quickly built a strong community of men who meet in their own secret Facebook group to support each other. Tim Wade and I host monthly live Q&A calls with all the students in this course which includes many other bonuses as well. ($500 with no BS money-back guarantee)

And if you think one-on-one coaching (the fastest way to learn) is up your alley, contact us for a powerful one-hour consultation session.

These consultations are actually mini-coaching sessions and you will hang up feeling like "what the hell just happened?"...in a really good way.

Lotta love, brother

Steve

P.S. If you haven't yet read my book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband, go here to spend the smartest $7.99 you will spend this season. And if, for any reason, you can't buy it hit reply and ask me for free copy. What's $7.99 between brothers anyway?

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