Hey,
Have you ever argued with your wife or girlfriend about sex?
During my 28 years with my now ex-wife I can't count how many finely crafted arguments I initiated. Because I think I'm smart, logical and persuasive I thought arguing about sex would somehow yield a different result.
I'm almost embarrassed to admit how stupid and hard-headed I was for so long. I guess some of the best lessons in life come at the expense of doing really stupid s#!@. In my defense, I didn't have anyone around to tell me any differently.
So here I am for you today. I'm going to tell you differently.
The Top Five Most Classic Sex Argument Starters:
1. How can you possibly think it's normal to have sex this infrequently?
2. Why aren't you attracted to me...am I ugly to you?
3. Everyone else is having more sex than we are!
4. Why don't you ever initiate sex with me?
5. What more do I have to do to get you to want to have sex with me??
Do any of those sound familiar?
Believe me, I understand the underlying frustration, desire and feeling of rejection that drive us to those arguments. But if you're as smart as I think you are you also know it's a complete waste of time that only makes things worse.
More resentment. More distance. More cold and dismissive treatment.
The more frustrated and needy we become the more unattractive and undesirable we become. Hell...we even hate ourselves when we're doing it.
The reason arguing about sex is so stupid is because it implies that attraction and desire are logical.
They are not.
I don't agree with everything "Red Pill" guru, Rollo Tomassi, has to say about relationships, but this quote is dead nuts, balls on accurate.
You cannot negotiate genuine desire. The idea that you can rationally barter for someone‘s real desire is the biggest lie ever sold by modern psychotherapy. In fact negotiating has the opposite effect on desire, it only prompts obligated compliance and resentment.
In our new online course, How to Defuse The Divorce Bomb, Tim Wade and I reveal how our boyish insecurity around sex makes us sound whiny. It's the foundation for a crappy sex life.
We also give you coaching on how to lighten up, redirect your focus and increase your natural masculine attractiveness.
For example
- Stop NEGOTIATING and COMMUNICATING about sex.
- Lose the sexual stopwatch and scoreboard from your bedroom. Stop judging her worthiness to you in sexual units of measure.
- Re-learn how to PLAY and FLIRT. Remember the connection you had when you were dating was fun, flirty and playful. It was full of positive thoughts and positive tension.
- Re-learn the difference between sensual/emotional intimacy and sexual/physical intimacy. She needs you to get this.
- Amp up your own sexual value and physical confidence...starting today.
- Understand the real reasons behind rejection. The word "No" is not a personal attack on your manhood...stop acting as if it is.
*****
I explain these coaching tips a little more deeply in this video.
