Anger: How a Nano-Second Can Separate the Men From the Boys

Published: Sun, 08/04/19

Hey men,

My dad had a hair-trigger temper. The nut doesn't fall far from the tree.

I still grapple with anger sometimes triggered by the stupidest things.

Bad drivers are a good example. There are millions of them! But I'm learning to pause better when one of them pisses me off. I think of a famous quote by comedian, George Carlin.

Have you ever noticed that everyone who drives faster than you is an asshole and everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot?

The only person left at this point is you. Hmmmm...

That's a very privileged place to be. You always get to be right. It might be a little lonely...but hey, you get to be right!

*****

How we deal with our emotions of anger is 100% up to us. Nobody else has a role in how WE THINK about the event which triggered our EMOTION of anger. It's not the job of the assholes or the idiots...just us.

But why is it so hard to own this? Why are we so tempted to blame someone else for our emotions?

When it comes to anger, I think the answer is an undeveloped awareness of the NANOSECOND of time between stimulus and response.

Just like well trained martial artists, an "anger ninja" sees things unfolding in slow motion. He doesn't overreact to threats because he can see the "bullets" coming at him. He's unafraid because he knows he can respond before they hurt him.

A calm, confident, secure man is able to identify a trigger in the making. He's sees the events leading up to it in slow motion and he's already planning what he will THINK about it when that nanosecond has expired. And this directly affects how he will FEEL about it.

It's a very special skill but totally within your reach with awareness and practice.

I often use my mountain lion metaphor when referring to this calm, cool, confident, steady energy of a man who knows he's okay. He reserves his energy for those very few things that merit the focus of his anger. It not easy as Aristotle noted many years ago.

How to Become Calm, Confident and Eliminate Your Pissy Anger

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. ~ Aristotle

I don't subscribe to the belief that ALL anger is bad. When channeled with FOCUS and PURPOSE and INTENTION anger can be an intense and formidable tool.

The challenge is pausing long enough to develop focus, purpose and intention.

Without focus, purpose and intention anger is just unbridled, scattered emotion. It's almost always ineffective, self-sabotaging and "hugely" unattractive.

But with focus, purpose and intention, I believe anger morphs into a very productive passion. It's measured, deliberate and appropriate. And as a result it no longer resembles anger in it's original form.

The question we must always ask ourselves is, "Which man do I want to be?"

Plato said it more elegantly than I. When it comes to channeling anger you should choose wisely.

There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. ~ Plato

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Let's make this practical.

How can you channel anger about your job, your boss and your pay into something more focused, purposeful and intention?

When it comes to any aspect of your struggling relationship, what would a measured, deliberate and appropriate response look like?

Bottom line: There is always a more productive way to channel our frustration and anger if we just pause long enough to change the nature of our response.

When you develop this muscle your life will change forever. I promise.

*****

If you want to do something focused, purposeful and intentional about building that muscle here are some great options for you.

You can choose to join me and Dan Dore in the GG2GM Live Men's Roundtable. We meet twice a month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful secret Facebook group of 80 men. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month. Bet you can't do just one month!

Coach Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year on October 20-23, 2019. This is in Loveland, Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch, incredible horseback rides and transformational coaching. This is a guaranteed game changer if you are in a struggling relationship.

You can confront your fear of asking for help and ask for a free consultation call to dive long and deep into what you want and get some immediate ideas on how to create that.

And...stay tuned for the announcement of our next Mexico Mojo Mastery retreat this winter for men a little further along in their journey looking to sharpen their masculine mojo tool set.

Lotta love brother,

Steve

P.S. If you haven't yet read my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband you can find it HERE. If you, for ANY REASON, can't purchase this book, just hit reply and tell me. I'll send a free PDF version to you right away.

P.P.S. Tim Wade and I are very close to releasing an online course called "How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb". There is NOTHING ELSE out there like this collection of powerful coaching videos (about 8 hours worth) and tons of bonuses including my book and a private coaching session ($400 value). We are giving a special offer to the first few men who buy it. Price for the entire course will be $500 because $497 is a stupid number. Reply to me at this email if you want to be at the top of the EARLY NOTIFICATION LIST. This is such an unbelievably high-quality product that we confidently offer a No B.S. All Your Money Back Guarantee.

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