If You Can't Quickly Answer This Question..well, you're kind of screwed

Published: Sun, 07/14/19

Hey men,

I've discovered that a LOT of us have real hard time answering a really simple question.

Knowing the answer clearly and concisely can be the difference between a guy wallowing in limbo for years and a guy who quickly and consciously moves forward.

I think I know why it's so hard to answer...it's because we're too busy focusing on another question instead.

What's the simple question?

"What do you want?"

I know! It sounds really easy, doesn't it?

I'm not talking about when you've got a menu in your hand and the waitress says, Do you know what you want? Most of us nail that one with ease. (except my girlfriend, but that's another newsletter)

I'm talking about a guy who is facing some really tough relationship stuff and experiencing an ongoing, disinterested, icy chill from his wife.

When I ask him, Do you know what you want? he answers quickly:

I'm tired of her ignoring me
I'm sick of feeling like her last priority
I'm don't want to live another 20 yrs. like a roommate
I don't want this to come crashing down on me and destroy my family!

Did you notice he didn't answer the question. He listed things he doesn't want and is focused solely on what he's not getting.

So, I ask again, Do you know what you want?

And he'll usually say something like, I want things to go back to the way they were...in the beginning!

The problem with that is no relationship stays the same. That hot and sweaty, lovey dovey beginning had a very short half-life.

When I keep pushing for what do you WANT...words start to trickle out.

A smile every now and then would be nice
Be more open and honest with each other
Feel a spark of desire to be in the same room and breathe the same air
Kindness and a little affection would be cool too

By the time we finish the conversation, he gets clearer and he might say,

What I want is a real relationship where both of us assume the best in each other and try on a daily basis to keep a connection going. I want a relationship based on mutual trust, respect, support and desire to be partners. I want a relationship where we share a common experience of life and also have freedom to explore our own interests and then come back together to share those experiences.

Now we're talking! That's something you can actually do something about.

I talk more about this in the video.

What do you want? Why You Need to Have a CLEAR Answer

"If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t." ~ Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club)

In this next video, I want you to listen how actress Kristen Bell describes her actor husband and how he handled her tendency to "fight badly".

This is obviously a guy who knows what he wants and when he's willing to make a stand. He won't accept toxic fighting...plain and simple.

Unless you CLEARLY know what you want and you can confidently and unapologetically ask for it, you'll probably get something else.

She almost brags that he had an immovable expectation. She admits she's attracted to the fact that he has really high personal standards and massive self-respect. He knows that if he doesn't make this non-negotiable the marriage will surely fail.

And he doesn't hesitate one second in saying so and describing clearly what he DOES want. While he got the result he hoped for it's clear he wasn't afraid of her reaction or the possible outcome.

Kristen Bell on Fights with Husband Dax Shepard

I want you to acquire the critical life skill of confidently and unapologetically asking for what you want.

I want you to know with absolute clarity what kind of life and relationship you want. I want you to be courageous in declaring your non-negotiable standards.

And I want you to become the kind of man who knows how to create everything he wants without the fear of wondering who might join him on his ride.

*****

You have a few options on how to learn this stuff.

You can choose to join me and Dan Dore in the GG2GM Live Men's Roundtable. We meet twice a month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful secret Facebook group of 78 men. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month. Bet you can't do just one month!

Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year on October 20-23, 2019. This is in Loveland, Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch, incredible horseback rides and transformational coaching. This is a guaranteed game changer if you are in a struggling relationship.

Speaking of asking for what you want, you can ASK for a free consultation call to dive long and deep into what you want and get some immediate ideas on how to create that.

And...stay tuned for the announcement of our next Mexico Mojo Mastery retreat this winter for men a little further along in their journey looking to sharpen their masculine mojo tool set.

So...let me ask you a question.

What do you want?

Lotta love brother,

Steve

P.S. If you haven't yet read my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband you can find it HERE. If you, for ANY REASON, can't purchase this book, just hit reply and tell me. I'll send a free PDF version to you right away.

P.P.S. The London All-Day Live Event is totally full now. If you're interested in the next one, just hit reply to be put at the top of the early notification list.

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