Why Your Wife Isn't "Abusing" You (even if you think she is)

Published: Sun, 07/07/19

Hey men,

I may lose a few subscribers with this email...but it must be done.

My hope for this message is to challenge and empower you to think differently about feeling offended, insulted, manipulated, controlled or abused.

The internet abounds with countless experts trying to help people know when they are being abused and how to escape their evil perpetrators. These experts arm them with tips, tools and vocabulary to identify their manipulative, controlling, domineering and narcissistic abusers.

"Abuse" is the new relationship battle cry and public enemy #1.

It's creating armies of otherwise healthy men and women who spend a LOT of time and energy indicting their persecutors. Then they spend MORE time and energy complaining about it and trying to get others to sympathize with them.

It becomes a full time job for these default victims.

They are not aware of any other course of thinking or action that can create a different result. Therefore, they spend no time thinking or doing anything that can be more empowering and effective.

The ultimate problem is this way of living has no end.

Even if they finish the work of exposing all their persecutors...they're still a victim. It's like finally winning the rat race and still winding up a rat.

Brother, I want more for you. You're not a rat. And you're not a victim.

There is a more effective way to THINK about all this and a more productive way to RESPOND.

I explain more in this video.

Why Your Wife Isn’t “Abusing” You

"In every moment you have the CHOICE to be a victim or a creator." ~ Deepak Chopra

Let me be clear.

I am speaking directly to healthy adult men who want to become more emotionally confident, mature and effective in their life by changing how they think and respond to their circumstances. These men have a clear choice to create new circumstances for themselves.

I fully realize there are many innocent victims of circumstances and abuse who have no such option and we must support and defend them.

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What's really happening when someone treats you badly?

This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see the truth about "abuse".

Instead of seeing criticism and cutting comments as abuse...he sees them as insecure bids for connection.

Instead of experiencing her cold silence as emotional abandonment...he experiences empathy for her internal turmoil.

Instead of feeling threats of divorce as vicious emotional abuse...he sees right through her fearful need to take control.

This is what happens when a man finally becomes clear, confident and secure enough to see himself as a creator of his own circumstances.

Instead of launching boyish counter-attacks, he consistently demonstrates calm, confident and mature responses.

Instead of pursuing and pressuring her for approval and validation, he confidently gives her space while happily engaging with others.

Instead of accepting poisonous attacks or destructive behavior, he firmly and confidently states his expectations and invokes consequences without fear of the outcome.

How does he achieve this Zen-like state of masculine maturity?

He stops trying to change others and puts laser focus on changing himself. This is all the control he has and all the control he needs.

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You have a few options on where to put your focus.

You can choose to join me and Dan Dore in the GG2GM Live Men's Roundtable. We meet twice a month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful secret Facebook group of 78 men. It's a $69 investment. Try it for one month. Bet you can't do just one month!

Tim Wade and I are doing one more Confident Man Ranch Retreat this year on October 20-23, 2019. This is in Loveland, Colorado and is a mind-blowing time on a beautiful mountain ranch, incredible horseback rides and transformational coaching. This is a guaranteed game changer for men in struggling relationships.

Dan Dore and I are also hosting our first Live in the UK Event on Saturday, September 14, 2019. In the last week we've filled all but TWO spots for this fun event that will last from 10am to midnight! If you've been thinking about this one, better sign up now.

And...stay tuned for the announcement of our next Mexico Mojo Mastery retreat this winter for men a little further along in their journey looking to sharpen their masculine mojo tool set.

So...when I say you have a choice of whether to be a victim or a creator in your life, I'm saying all you have to do is take your next bold step.

Make a decision. No matter how small take the next smallest step possible in the direction you want to go.

Lotta love brother,

Steve

P.S. If you haven't yet read my book, Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband you can find it HERE. If you, for ANY REASON, can't purchase this book, just hit reply and tell me. I'll send a free PDF version to you right away.

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