What if Your Wife "Fires" You Tomorrow? (What would you do?)

Published: Sun, 05/05/19

Hey,

Do you ever worry that you could be "let go" from your job as husband at any moment?

What would you do if that happened? What would you THINK?

Do you sometimes have an "employee" mindset in your relationship?

This is the main source of discomfort and insecurity for way too many men.

If you look at the "position" of husband from the mindset of an employee you will adopt the bad behaviors of a man who feels like a second class citizen in his own home.

And THAT will destroy a marriage faster than anything else I can think of.

Let me give you an example of two men. Bill and Bob are electricians working in the same company.

Bill views himself as an employee - a man who is a common commodity. He feels like a man with very limited options

These are the daily thoughts in Bill's mind:

My work will only be as good as how I feel I'm being treated...and no better.
I'll try only as hard as I feel my employer is trying.
I feel insecure about my employment because I fear what my boss thinks about me.
I get angry and unhappy every time I think they disrespect me or criticize me or my work.
I hate Mondays. I LOVE Fridays. And I live for payday!

On the other hand, Bob views himself as an entrepreneur - a man of unequaled value. He feels like a man with many options.

These are the daily thoughts in Bob's mind:

I will be the best electrician I can be.
I make my growth and security a priority by becoming more valuable every day...no matter what my employer is doing.
I'm secure in my value and employability because I know my value and I don't worry about what others think about me. I can work anywhere.
I'm a happy electrician because I choose to be...regardless of the opinion or actions of others.
I'm grateful every day I wake up. Payday is something that results from me staying in my lane and being the best electrician possible.

Watch this video for a deeper look into this mindset and how it applies to you as a husband. Translation: "Payday = Sex" in this video.

What if Your Wife “Fires” You Tomorrow?

Bottom line: You have the choice of two frames of mind to live in.

1. The frame YOU create for yourself from your values, terms and boundaries.

2. Someone else's frame.

If you are not operating in your chosen frame or don't know what that frame is you will, by default, be operating in someone else's frame.

I want to invite you to FIND YOUR OWN VALUES, TERMS AND BOUNDARIES with me.

It will be one of the most important and most defining moments in your life. This is the way one man in the community put it recently. Read it with his Scottish accent for fun.

"I have felt like a weight has been released off my shoulders....not lifted just released. It’s amasing really... gone are the stomach cramps, the anxiety feelings, hardly sleeping the anger and resentment towards my wife is reducing because of [this work].

I know there is plenty of work to do and I am up for the challenge. Even confidence at work has returned this past few days."

A really simple way to get started immediately is to join me and my colleague, Dan Dore, in the Goodguys2Greatmen Live Coaching Roundtable. Click on that link for information and registration. This is a POWERFUL group of smart men who know exactly what you're going through and will give you the support you're not getting anywhere else.

And if you want something a little more personal think about joining me at my place in either June or August for my six man camping retreats. There's nothing a like little fire, beer and high quality men to amp up your mojo. And, I'd love to climb some rocks with you!

Lotta love, brother,

Steve

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