I'll never ask you to stop your healthy pursuit of great relationships and sex with women...I'm asking you to stop the needy pursuit of their acceptance and approval.
That should be enough to make my point clear. But let me try for "crystal clear".
I am in 100% support of healthy, happy and confident men pursuing their desire for healthy, happy, loving, connected, respectful, affectionate and passionate relationships with women.
I always have been. Always will.
The video is meant to explain the OPPOSITE of that.
The opposite of healthy, happy and confident is insecure, miserable and needy.
The opposite of pursuing healthy relationships with women is the pursuit of someone to anesthetize your childhood wounds and shore up your insecure sense of self.
And just in case this isn't clear enough, a man who pursues romance and sex from that place may as well give up before he starts.
I'm going to give you a coaching homework assignment. Somewhere around the 6th session in my private Masculine Confidence program I assign this book.
I'm serious. I expect you to read it. It might change your life like it did mine.
Warning: It's a heavy read. It repeats points many times so you don't forget. It was written in 1966 and has funny language sometimes. It's blunt and unapologetic about the path from child to adult...from boy to man.
Stay with it and don't miss the last chapter.
The last chapter explains why self-reliance is so critical in your pursuit of healthy relationships. It explains why pursuing relationships from an insecure mindset is like poison.
One of the most critical breakthroughs a man can make is realizing this one truth.
He cannot honestly and generously give his love to someone else until he learns to honestly and generously love himself.
Self-reliance isn't arrogant, controlling, selfish or isolating. It's the foundation of self-respect and healthy, positive masculinity. It's the core of healthy, passionate relationships.
Pursuing relationships women from a place of insecurity and neediness will always turn out badly.
Maybe that should have been the title of that video!
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If you want to achieve self-reliance I personally invite you to join me and my amazing colleague, Dan Dore, in the 2019 Men's Live Coaching Roundtable - it's the perfect place for you to build your mojo. This is about men supporting men to be more confident, clear-headed and, yes,
self-reliant. Click here to find out more.
Or maybe you'll just fill out my contact form and ask for a deep dive consultation with one of the wise, powerful men's coaches on my team.
Lotta love, brother,
