Attract Her Toward You When She's Backing Away

Published: Sun, 08/26/18

Hey guys,

I'm running a retreat at my Ranch in Colorado today so Dan Dore the associate coach for Goodguys2Greatmen has put this email newsletter together for you. Take it away Dan...

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The most common questions we get asked every day often sound very similar:

What can I do when my wife has told me she needs space, that she feels smothered, that she's not sure what she feels for me anymore or that she feels numb?

Most of us are knocked sideways when we hear her say these words and the surprise makes us panic and try to urgently fix what's going wrong in our relationship.

As many of you already know, that reaction just magnifies the problem.

In this video Steve and I discuss what you can do when she's backing away from you to attract her back toward you.

When you do this you not only become more attractive to her, you also build your self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence at the same time

Watch the video below to see our discussion:

How to Attract Her Toward You When She's Backing Away

When a woman asks for space, most of the advice on the internet and from friends tells you to "get rid of her" or "lay down the law" or use one of a million different 'secret' tricks to 'get her to do what you want'.

But we're not talking about a situation where she's confused about your attraction to her or your desire to be with her. She knows you want her, in fact that's part of the problem for her.

She's feeling pressured and overwhelmed by your need for her attention, affection, connection and intimacy.

When there has been a period of clingyness, neediness or pressure to fix what's wrong with a relationship, it's quite natural for the person on the receiving end to feel smothered and to back away.

If the woman you love is pulling away, being able to give them that space is not only the best way to attract them back, but it’s also your only option. Anything else will feel like you're not considerate of her feelings and will just push her further away.

When we step back and give her some space we do two important things:

We show that we're listening, that we understand and have compassion for her
We show that we can handle difficult situations with undertanding, confidence and maturity

Attraction when a woman is fearful, pressured, feeling numb or feeling smothered is created by backing away, just a little bit.

And as a by product of releasing some of your need to be connected to her, you also learn that your world does not come crashing down around you, you're still alive, you're OK.

In fact if you use some of the extra time to do something you really enjoy, now you're better than OK.

When she feels less smothered, less pressured and less responsible for your wellbeing, she can relax, she can start to feel that you care more about her than you do about how she's being toward you right now and this creates a feeling of safety for her.

A woman can only be affectionate toward you when she feels safe and relaxed with you.

When a woman is pulling away from you, needing more space and indicating she’s not happy, you have to know, it’s not that she’s not happy with you. It’s just that she’s not happy.

The best thing you can give her…the most attractive strength you can show her, is staying calm, being patience and giving distance. She needs to know that you’re OK even if she isn’t OK. She needs to feel that you’re going to be fine even if she’s still searching for her identity and wellbeing.

So my advice for you when you hear anything like “I need space”, “I feel caged”, “I feel like you’re smothering me”, is to let go…take a deep breath and back off.

At this point, you have to talk to other men, because you do have a need to talk about this. You need to communicate, to vent and be vulnerable, and talk about your fears.

You can't talk about it with her, because that’s even more pressure and will push her further away and the more we do that, the less respect and attraction she can feel for us.

If this is happening in your relationship and you want to talk to men who've been in your shoes and who know how you feel and can help, we would love to support you. Go to THIS CONTACT FORM to request your private, 45 minute "Attract Her Back Consultation" with Steve or me (Dan) in the UK.

Feedback from a man who recently experienced one of these calls was:

"I can't tell you how good our call was for me...thank you! I listen to Steve's blog videos daily...and yeah I need more male companions...hard to find where I am. My wife is coming home tomorrow and I'm feeling more on top of things already..."

Lotta love, brothers,

Dan & Steve

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