When is She Going to Want Sex With Me Again?!

Published: Sun, 11/19/17

Hey,

The most frequent question I get from clients trying to resuscitate intimacy in their relationship is:

"When is She Going to Want Sex With Me Again?!"

And my answer is always the same.

"I don't know...and neither does she."

The next question is, "Well, I know she doesn't want sex right now, but I don't know if she even WANTS to want sex with me. How can I tell if she even WANTS to want to be intimate again?"

Again. "I don't know...and neither does she."

She may have told you, "I don't know why I don't want to have sex. I don't know when I'll ever want it. And I'm not sure I will ever want it with anyone."

That last line is supposed to help you believe this isn't all about you. I know it doesn't give you much comfort.

Let me give you some comfort.

First, let's be really HONEST:

1. Your desire for sex with her is a smoke screen for your deeper feelings of abandonment, fear of rejection and desire for acceptance (all normal). It's NOT all about the sex, is it?

2. If she was to simply look you in the eye right now - hug you tight - kiss you hard - tell you she loved you - said she is proud that you're her man - and said "Everything is going to be alright. I will want plenty of sex with you again in exactly one year."....your world would suddenly be fine again, wouldn't it?

3. It's not really the lack of sex making you crazy, imagining all sorts of crap and waking up at 4am every morning. It's the utter lack of CERTAINTY in your relationship. You want to know right now how all this is going to work out, don't you?

*****

Second, here's the CERTAINTY you have if you change nothing and remain an "unhappy married man":

1. Everything will stay exactly the same or get worse soon.

2. She will continue to want more distance from you and continue to believe that nothing is fixable.

3. You will feel more and more insecure as she becomes more and more convinced that staying together is a mistake.

*****

Third, here's the CERTAINTY you have if you decide to start thinking, speaking and behaving like a "happily divorced man" (click that link to get the prescription for becoming an HDM):

1. You will stop arguing, whining, blaming and complaining about sex.

2. You will quickly start feeling clearer, bolder, smarter, calmer and more confident.

3. You immediately change the negative, downward spiral of energy in your home and start feeling happier and more secure.

4. You immediately stop talking and acting like an unhappily married man and start projecting a confident picture of who you really are and where you're going.

Here's an older video where I explain this a little more.

Why Happily Divorced Men Hang Around Better People (and you should too)

The secret to creating peace, well being, happiness and CERTAINTY is to realize you have the power to change your response and your circumstances.

Yes, this means choosing to drop the victim mentality and decide to take charge of your own mojo.

She never had and never will have the power to give you security or certainty.

And the more you try to hold her accountable for your security and certainty the more you will drive her away...and anyone else for that matter.

How do you do this?

You can only learn this from other men who have been initiated in the process of becoming a clear-headed, calm, confident and happy man.

Whether you stay married or not...this is your choice.

We do this with my proven coaching system and 90-Day Masculine Confidence Program.

We do it by attending training and retreats with other men.

We do it by committing to being the author of our own story and being accountable for our own sense of value and contribution.

And we do it by deciding to become a lifelong student who wants to operate at a higher level of purpose than agonizing over a woman who won't have sex with him.

Why am I so confident about this? Because I get emails like this. This man created this because he decided he was going to take the lead and become a happy man no matter what.

Here are his exact words from 2 days ago:

Marriage is amazing. Family is amazing. {Wife name} and I are operating on a level that I could never imagine. We both look at each other and we share our amazement that we got through the dark half decade where we both weren't sure if we were going to make it.

When we hold each other and talk, it's like we are not only working on our marriage but grateful that we achieved this state together even though it was bought with a lot of pain on both sides. Maybe we had to go through that darkness. I don't know. But, here we are.

I think we see sex now as not just satisfying some physical carnal need, but we genuinely enjoy that emotional connection that helps fuel us during the next day and keeps us close. Spontaneous touch and giggles are just a norm now.

He was totally outcome independent as he did this work. His only certainty was the he KNEW he would emerge as a happily married man or a happily divorced man.

The choice to become happy, engaged, accountable and consistent was his all along.

This is the choice in front of you. Learn where happiness really comes from and start living that dream now...not later.

Next Steps?

Go HERE to apply for a consultation call to talk about changing your thoughts and immediately feeling clearer, stronger and more confident than you've felt in years.

If you want to read instead of talk, go HERE to get the book that men are telling me is turning their relationship around in one reading.

And if you want to get on the FIRST NOTIFICATION LIST for the May 20-23, 2018 Horse Ranch Men's Retreat in Loveland, CO...hit reply and say, "I want on that list!"

More details will be coming on that later. Last year's ranch retreat was a wild success and I can't wait to do another one.

Lotta love, brother, and Happy Thanksgiving! (if you celebrate it).

Steve

P.S. I will be taking the entire month of December off for training, re-calibrating, recharging and resting. New clients will be starting in January. Although I will be OFF EMAIL, I have someone who will be fielding consultation requests and scheduling them.