Hey,
Sometimes I write things so unconscionable that people want me banned
forever.
How dare I write such condescending, ignorant trash for men?
Off with my head!
My most recent article about how us men can overreact to women got a curious response from a woman. I'm advocating self-control, confidence and emotional responsibility. Here's what Lindsay had to say:
"[A] truly cringe
worthy article written in a condescending manner. As a woman if I read an article written this way but aimed towards women I would ask to have this writer banned from this site. Articles like this have no place in helping men and only reinforces the toxic narrative that men are the only ones at fault for everything. I’m glad that a woman didn’t write this ignorant trash. Responding like a man? Really? So men’s should be a doormat for “unhappy” abuse so that he can get sex. Wow. nice carrot to
throw out there."
Her biggest beef seems to be that I teach men to exercise emotional control and personal accountability. And that triggered her into helping me prove my point.
Overreacting defensively with personal attacks is usually a bad way to start a conversation.
That's the whole point of the article.
Men (and women, obviously) have a choice in how they respond to feeling triggered. It can be done from a place of calm confidence and curiosity...or it can be done from a place of a reactionary fear and criticism.
One of those choices is more attractive and better for your relationship and sex life. It's also the choice that leaves you feeling infinitely better about who you are being as a man.
As
Stephen Covey said in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - "seek first to understand before being understood."
Here is an important coaching assignment if you choose to accept it. If you've been a client of mine or are currently a client, you will see the value in this challenge.
Read the article I'm talking about by clicking on the link below.
Then respond to the comment from Lindsay following the principles I describe in the article.
Don't try to defend me. Don't defend the brotherhood. Don't let it trigger you.
Just respond calmly with curiosity. Seek to understand. Share your perspective.
Demonstrate how a confident man responds.
Here it is.
If you want to send me a personal insight or question about this topic hit reply to this email and let 'er rip. You might agree with her and want to discuss it with me.
This is the kind of conversation that takes men to the next level of mojo in their life and relationship.
One client told me the other day, "Not arguing this week has had the biggest impact on my marriage . When I stay calm she gets calm. And she's been nicer and more affectionate than
she's been in the last 3 months."
As I always say...we don't do this work to please her - we do it to please ourselves and the rest is icing on the cake.
When
you're ready to start feeling strong, confident, clear-headed and pleased with yourself, click here to schedule a one-on-one conversation with me.
You can do this, brother. I'm certain of it.
