I’m still on the subject of mindset.
It’s the most important thing a guy can work on and the only thing he can do anything about.
When we’re feeling stuck, frustrated, confused, rejected or just plain pissed off it’s usually for the same reasons.
We normally think it’s because of a
lot of other stuff. Stuff like:
- Our wife or girlfriend doesn’t appreciate us
- We don’t feel like a priority in our relationship
- Women ignore
us
- Our boss or business partner is a self-centered dick
- Our kids don’t listen and make stupid decisions
These all seem like legitimate reasons for feeling down.
And it’s so much easier to blame others because the alternative isn’t very appealing. But, at a deeper level we know it’s not really about them – it’s about us. And that kind of sucks.
Why?
Because we don’t know how to be any different.
The only mode we’ve been taught is how to keep everyone else happy - to follow their rules for how things should go. And we take it personally when they’re unhappy with us or things don’t go the way we want. We feel trapped playing a game with rules we don’t like or understand.
Do you know what the #1 cause of frustration and
dissatisfaction is in most men’s lives?
It is the belief that we are playing to a set of rules that cannot be changed.
It’s the perspective that the way other people treat us creates our happiness.
It’s the feeling of having no control over our circumstances, therefore, our future.
And it’s utter poppycock.
We can UN-learn this frame of mind and we must. We can always change our
circumstances.
And the easiest circumstance to change is how we think about our ability to change the rules we choose to live by.
It’s called self-reliance.
I just spent a half-hour talking about
self-reliance and its importance in relationships on a brand new podcast. So, instead of typing anymore about it, take a listen. It was a fun conversation with a really cool couple. The links are below.
If you want to read more about developing your independence and how to start taking steps on your own, here’s my latest article on the
subject.
This is the most important work a man can do. It's absolutely liberating.
If you’re ready to feel powerful, in control and
confident again…I’m ready to help you get there. "Self-help" is pitifully ineffective. Believe me, I tried that once.
Every man has a huge dream hidden inside himself. My job is to help you dream bigger than you've ever dreamed and to help you take the tiniest steps you've ever taken to reach it.
Does your dream look like this?
