Men, Women and Donald Trump - What Men Should Know [Guest Post]

Published: Tue, 11/15/16

Hey,

My friend and colleague, Jenny Adams, wrote a blog post recently I want to share with you.

She is a men's relationship and sexuality coach. She loves men, appreciates men and celebrates masculinity. We do some workshops together.

And she wrote a vulnerable piece to share with men about the secret fears that many women have. She makes a plea for understanding and care.

She shifted my mind a little as I've been guilty of brushing off the drama I've heard lately about what it means to have a man like Mr. Trump at the helm.

This isn't a political piece. It's a piece about human beings.

It's information you may or may not find useful in navigating your manhood and your relationship in the coming months.

I found it useful and I'm making a few changes in my attitude toward women who have seemed "overly dramatic" to me in the past few days. I can do better than I've been doing...and I will.

Steve

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By: Jenny Adams - Understand Women.net

Some of you may want to unsubscribe from my blog after you read this post.

However, this topic cannot be ignored.

These past few weeks, the presidential election is triggering women around the world in ways that need to be expressed.

Election news is everywhere. It can’t be ignored. Even by those of us who don’t watch TV or read the news.

And it is opening a conversation that has needed to be blown apart for thousands of years.

I am a part of several women’s communities online. The posts that are being posted both publicly and non-publicly are heart-breaking.

I have many personal stories of my own regarding verbal and physical sexual assault and sexual shaming. And Trump’s comments and actions are triggering me personally.

I have spent years of my life going deep inside myself to find forgiveness for the collective masculine. I love all men, and I will never judge one man based on another’s actions. Men are absolutely amazing! It is why I do the work I do. My desire is for all men to show up as the man they know they truly are and have always wanted to be.

And that is why this topic is so important.

Many men are showing their support for women right now. But not nearly enough. And not always in the way women need.

This conversation is not easy. And many people, men and women alike, are avoiding it.

But I want you to be aware of what women are feeling that you, as men, may not be privy to, so that you can give the women in your life the support they need right now.

No matter which political party you are part of, it is hard to ignore the fact that women don’t feel safe right now.

The posts I read are detailed in what types of abuse from men each individual woman has endured. Trump’s comments regarding women are bringing up all the past hurts the women of the world have been too ashamed to tell you.

Whether we know it or not, each of us knows a woman who has been sexually assaulted or verbally abused regarding her womanhood by a man. She is sitting next to us at work, or in a restaurant, or at our own kitchen table.

Please check in with the women in your life and ask them how they are doing. Listen empathetically.

Some women may be numb to the situation as they have built up this defense system for most of their life. Others may not give you the details of what has happened to them or other women they know, or even acknowledge that anything ever has.

But they will feel you. They will feel that you care. They will know that at least one man in their life cares how women are treated.

And, because you took the time to ask them in an empathetic way how they feel, they will feel a bit safer in the patriarchal world we live in.

Please don’t add how you, as man, have been treated similarly. It is not the same. And now is not the time to focus on men.

The women of the world are hurting right now.

The feminine collective needs your masculine support.

Give the women in your life hugs. Let her know it isn’t okay for men to speak that way about and act that way toward women. Ask her how she personally feels right now.

Avoiding the issue is letting her down. Joking about it is letting her down.

Showing your own anger and disappointment regarding the way women are treated is a good step, but checking in to make sure she is okay is an even more important step.

If you could see and hear the comments women are making to other women, you would get a deeper understanding of how deep this issue is felt.

Not feeling safe to be a woman is ingrained in every woman and passed on from generation to generation. We currently have an unprecedented opportunity to lighten the load for women.

Even for the woman who staunchly supports Trump, she is (consciously or unconsciously) feeling disappointment that someone she believes in doesn’t believe in her…that a man she believes in makes her feel unsafe.

I am grateful for Trump bringing these issues to such a public level. It has brought a shameful, simmering pot of water to the boiling point. And many women are taking this time to let their voices be heard.

Know that the 1000 voices you hear and see publicly are just the tip of the iceberg. The problem is bigger, wider, deeper, and much more painful than any man will ever realize.

Now is an important time to let her know you care.

The women of the world need you now.

~ Jenny