Hey,
Last night at my
semi-weekly men's group meetup, we covered some juicy ground.
I warned the guys that it might get REALLY personal, a little dirty and maybe uncomfortable. Nobody left.
We dug into
stuff like this:
- What men really think about sex
- What we think women think about sex
- The art of
cunnilingus
- Our funniest sex stories
- ....and the big one - does SIZE matter?
It was 2.5 hours of some really eye opening, deep
and vulnerable sh*t.
And we laughed a lot too.
But something interesting happened at one point. We were talking about the feelings that happen when our women are
enjoying sex with us. We talked about oxytocin - the hormone that makes us feeling lovey, cuddly and bonded with her.
Then we talked about how those feelings can actually happen many other times that are not sexual.
I asked this question:
If your wife/girlfriend was willing and able to open your oxytocin valve without having sex, would sex be such a big source of anxiety or urgency for you.
It was unanimous.
"Hell no", the guys said. "If she could do that, everything would change in our relationship,"
I
asked how does she do that?
We came up with stuff like this:
- She simply appreciates me
- She talks kindly and listens
- She swats my ass and calls me stud
- She hugs me for no reason and says she's proud of
me
- She kisses the back of my neck and calls me "her strong man"
I know none of this surprises you. It surprises women, yes, but not you.
Women tell me, "Well, I would do more of that stuff if I felt more comfortable!"
Or, "If HE did more of that for me, then I would feel safer doing it for him. But he doesn't know how
I like him to do it."
THAT is the topic that took over our meeting.
We stopped talking so much about sex and more
about how to be a man who WANTS TO KNOW HOW TO LOVE HER THE WAY SHE NEEDS.
We talked about why and how we sometimes create feelings in her that are the opposite of appreciation and sexiness.
Wish you were there.
But, if you want your own personal version of this conversation, I will do that for you.
It all starts with you getting up, taking charge, making a decision and answering these questions. (click on that link) Then I'll call or email you back.
Easy.
Then the magic happens.
