I work with a lot of extremely sharp men.
Correction, EVERY guy I work with is abnormally intelligent. I’m not sure why, but it’s true. I wonder if it also holds true for those who read my newsletters.
Are
you creative, articulate, logical and analytical?
Are you also sensitive, aware, affectionate, compassionate and attentive?
And do you typically have a quick wit and disarming sense of humor?
On paper, do you qualify as every woman’s dream guy…except for the woman you live with?
Ouch. Did that hurt? Sorry. But don’t worry.
You’re not
alone.
You’re among TENS OF THOUSANDS of brilliant men who are trying to find an answer to these questions.
Why is she so disconnected and bitter toward me?
and
What can I do to get her to like and trust me again?
The #1 Mistake You May be
Making
I’ve got some pretty good data to support what I’m about to tell you.
The guy I described above is uniquely WIRED to make this mistake. He has collected information and processed historical data. He has analyzed and reviewed every negative thing that has ever happened in his relationship.
He is keenly tuned in to everything she says and does and, like a chess wizard, he shrewdly plans his next
moves.
He is talking and explaining himself so much his head hurts. And so does hers.
Nothing is working for him. He is confused and frustrated and he is thinking of new ways he might be able FIX whatever he is doing wrong.
There. Right there.
That is the mistake a smart guy makes all the time. He follows his analysis down to the obvious, but WRONG conclusion.
The problem must be ALL ABOUT ME!
According to his calculations it MUST be about him. He thinks, “How can I possibly fix this mess if it’s not all about me? How can I have any control over making things good again if it’s NOT about me?”
And his woman becomes even more disconnected. More bitter.
She may even blurt out in anger, “Oh, it's always about YOU, isn’t
it?”
Why this isn’t always about You
Here is the best explanation I can give you. These are the words many disconnected, bitter women can’t tell you. This is a collection of the actual words women tell me.
“He is making me sick by how hard he is trying to fix me. He believes it’s all about him and that he can somehow control everything by just making some changes. He doesn’t get
it. It’s NOT all about him. I feel smothered. I can’t breathe when he’s in the room.I feel like I have no purpose or identity or value anymore. It seems like my life is closing in on me and the more he wants to get close the more I want to run away. My only relief is when we’re apart and I feel like my head is above water and I have some control. I have no self-discipline when I’m with him to be who I want to be and say what I want to say. I can’t dream what I want to dream. And he can’t
understand ANY of this. There is NO WAY I can explain it. It makes me feel crazy. He’s not a bad guy and it breaks my heart seeing him trying to fix all this by fixing himself. I just can’t make myself WANT to be with him and touch him like he wants. I wish I could grow wings and just fly away.”
In other words…it’s not all about you.
Making this mistake will also have the following effects:
- You will spend way
too much time kicking your own ass when you don’t deserve it.
- You will lose sleep every night as you keep working the puzzle of what’s wrong with you.
- You will think, say and do things that make her even more disconnected and bitter.
- Your continual self-absorption will make you incredibly unattractive.
- You will be totally blind to her feelings and unable to show any empathy.
- Your chronic disappointment and unhappiness will sabotage any intention you have
of relieving her of pressure and negative feelings.
- You will lose sight of your own strength and value as a man making it impossible for her to see it in you as well.
What Next?
Stop doing what you’ve been doing. Stop believing it is all about you.
Then start thinking and doing the things that will rebuild confidence in yourself. Get CLEAR about what she is really going through so you can let
go of the daily self-sabotage.
Develop an image of her pain and her journey so you SEE and HEAR and FEEL her better than you ever have before. Learn what empathy is all about and discover how it can set you free of the anger and guilt you feel.
Stop taking everything as a personal attack on your value and worthiness.
Realize that you have never had any control over her, her feelings and her choices. You can’t
MAKE her happy. That’s her job.
And she can’t make YOU happy. That’s YOUR job.
And THAT is your most important job at this very moment.
Need help with learning that job? That’s what I do. And I’m pretty good at it.
Here’s what Alex told me to share with you: (his email address is available upon request)
“When I contacted Steve, my relationship with my girlfriend was not good and I felt like I was getting nowhere and I needed some direction. He does a free call and when I heard what he offered I was in. Well I thought I was and then I didn’t take action. Steve later called me out big time and I thought this guy is legit. He just called me out. So I joined his 3 month program. BEST THING I EVER DID!! One thing I can say
that I have learned is that it doesn’t matter what a woman thinks of me. My happiness does not depend on her. My happiness depends on who I believe I am as a man. Your foundation should be that.”
With this foundation, smart guys start seeing huge steps in their confidence and their clarity about their situation. They lose their fear. They start thinking clearly, speaking honestly and doing things from their heart.
No
more games.
It feels like your heart just ate a York Peppermint Patty.
Here’s how you can get started.
