Hey,
I want to share an important
relationship principle with you.
I think you need to understand it in order to get clear about WHAT YOU WANT.
Please read this article first. Ken Page does a marvelous job of explaining why so many men (and women) are confused about what they want.
He asks three questions:
- Have you ever been crazy about someone who wasn't available, or wasn't good for you?
- Have you ever invested way too much time trying to teach
someone to treat you right?
- Have you ever felt desperate for the affection of someone who sometimes treated you wonderfully, and other times badly?
Of course, this is critical information for men and
women who are dating. They can use this principle to help them make healthier choices of potential partners before making a commitment.
But what if you’re MARRIED and you said ‘yes’ to all 3 questions?
I hear about it every day.
Does it mean you’re
stuck forever? Does it mean you’re a horrible judge of character? Or does it mean you should plan your divorce tomorrow morning?
No. I don’t think so. Why?
Because so much of what you are experiencing in your marriage is a direct reflection of what you’re bringing into it.
“Bad treatment” is often the result of what you allow.
And an unhappy relationship is sometimes a conscious choice to remain unhappy.
Am I saying all relationships can or should be saved? No. You know that about me by now.
I’m saying that you should be careful about jumping to conclusions about your relationship.
Don’t throw in the towel too soon. You may have work to do.
And if you’re not willing to do it now, you won’t be willing to do it in your NEXT relationship either.
A man once asked his mentor, “Why can’t I attract a caring, affectionate, available woman who wants to treat me as well as I want to treat her?”
The mentor answered, “Because you’re not yet a man who gets those things.”
Yeah, it stung when I first heard it too.
Your current relationship may be the VERY BEST place for you to become a man who gets those things.
Whether it is with your current
partner or not is NOT THE POINT.
You can’t become that man unless you’re willing to work at it.
I’m just saying that NOW is the most effective time to practice.
It's a choice to be happy...or not.
Lotta love,
Steve
P.S. In my next newsletter I’ll share a story about D.B. from Florida. He was a client a couple of years ago and sent me a wedding invitation the other day. He discovered the difference between deprivation and inspiration. He’s a man who gets inspiration.
