Hey,
It’s 4:50 am and I’m sitting in the Denver airport waiting for a flight to San Francisco.
I feel like a Zombie. But I’ve been wanting to share an email I received from a woman with you all week.
Now’s my chance. Forgive the typos.
Zombie’s suck at typing.
I’m going to visit Dr. Brenda Wade, “America’s Love Doctor”, at her retreat in California. She asked me to join her to help some of her clients working on themselves and their relationships.
Most of them are women.
And they always ask me the same questions.
“What do men REALLY
want?”
“Is it true that all they want is sex?”
“Why can’t they commit?”
I tell them, “How the hell should I know?” Not really – that was the Zombie typing.
The truth is I don’t know exactly why we (men) give women the impression that we are sex starved skin junkies who can’t focus on one woman because we are gawking at the 10,000 other options around
us.
But I DO know that given the baggage us guys carry around from childhood and a lot of really bad social programming, we send signals we aren’t aware of.
But women are KEENLY aware of these signals.
Here is the email I received the other day. It’s a carbon copy of ones I received before. I’ve also read these exact words in dozens of comments about other articles I’ve written.
“As a female reader, I can’t underscore enough your point.”
Consciously and intentionally START working on your attitude toward her and about your desire for sex. Do you desire HER or do you simply desire sex?
Big difference.
“I can’t tell you what a huge problem this is for men (based on my 61 years of being a female in America). Since I was 16 I’ve felt invisible …I’ve felt that any one of 10,000 women would have been perfectly suitable to the men who were hitting on me. They
weren’t interested in ME…they just wanted a woman, and just about ANYONE would do.”
She continued, “And that, I can assure you, is a HUGE turn-off!! But make it personal, make it about ME, and I can’t get into (or out of) my French maid costume or my skimpy negligee fast
enough.”
Hmmm…I think there’s something very important there.
I happen to know men REALLY want love, trust,
acceptance, honesty, affection, and approval.
I know men want a LOT more than just sex with ANY woman.
I know men DO like the idea
of a stable, committed relationship.
I also know our thoughts and our misplaced masculine energy can screw us up – as well as our relationships.
I wanted you to hear the authentic, honest, open words of the type of woman any man should want in his life.
Hit reply and tell me what you think.
What are your challenges in being the kind of man a woman like that is dying for?
Don’t be afraid. I get it. It ain’t easy being a man.
Lots of love to you,
Steve
