No I’m not. And, no, you’re not either.
Chris Farley’s character in these skits always cracked me up but there was always a sting of pain I felt watching him. Why?
Because I can relate to the gut wrenching internal butt kicking us guys will give ourselves sometimes.
This happens a lot when a guy starts to see into the hidden dynamic going on inside his marriage and inside his wife’s head. In a blinding
flash of clarity, I’ve found myself saying things like:
- “Holy crap, I can’t believe I actually said that to her. How stupid of me.”
- “I could have handled that issue so much better. I wish I could go back in time.”
- “What a pussy I was to over react the way I did. No wonder she didn’t trust me or want me to touch her.”
But guess what?
I got over it. With
a little help from “the men”, I got over it.
What helped me was finding out that all my imperfections didn’t make me a bad guy or a horrible husband. It also helped to hear DOZENS of other men’s stories which sounded almost EXACTLY like mine.
It would be almost scary if it wasn’t so damn funny (you will learn to laugh later). All I had to do was put MY name in place of the man’s name in the
story.
It was like one of those Mad Lib stories.
It was a dark and stormy night.
He was working hard. She was getting bored.
He wanted more together time. She spent too much time with her friends.
There was this big fight. He was mad. She lost respect.
Another year went by living like roommates.
She stayed out too late one night. He confronted her.
She said the connection is gone. He ignored it for a while.
She changed the password on her cell phone. He got suspicious. She called him insecure and jealous.
He said he wants
to fix things. She said she just doesn’t know anymore.
He was hurt, mad, scared and confused.
The End.
A New Beginning
If your stomach tightened up reading that short story, I get it. I got a little queasy WRITING it and I’ve learned to laugh at myself
now.
The predictability of this story is mind boggling. And as “special” as each of us is, we fall into the same patterns time after time. There are reasons for that which can fill a book. I’m working on that.
But in the meantime, I’d like to hear your story. I’ve got this thing about listening to every detail of what you’re going through and what you’re feeling. Then I’ve got this thing about giving you some
things you may not have thought about.
I can help you see more clearly why you’re not stupid – it’s not all your fault – and what you can start doing immediately to change the energy in yourself and your relationship.
The new beginning is realizing that you’ve got another 40 years (or so) of living to do and it is going to be EPIC. I’m guessing you’re not planning on another 40 years as you are at this
moment.
There will be love and there will be laughter.
There will be touch and there will be passion.
You will feel confident again and in control of your future.
You will matter.
The only thing we don’t know at this point is whether or not your wife will join you there. And that’s okay. YOU will be
okay.
Actually, we NEVER really know what other people will choose to do.
That’s why you need to know what YOU will choose to do – and soon.
If you still have a knot in your gut, hit reply and tell me why. I’ll respond pretty darn quickly because I’ve got this thing about responding quickly and helping other men.
Talking to other men who have already walked your path is
your ticket into a whole new story. I’d like to show you the way there.
Tons of love, brother,
Steve
