This was the exact comment from a guy reading one of my articles. He was right.
Sometimes people act in horribly destructive and self-serving ways which can sabotage trust, respect, intimacy – or an entire marriage.
The commenter was reacting to the article I wrote with Grace Cooley about a married man’s secret tears. This has been viewed about 117,000 times and hit a few nerves.
We tried to show both sides of the deeply emotional situation
where two people have lost their romantic connection. It hits on the sadness, sense of loss, hopelessness, and lack of trust which is at the root of it.
When this kind of pain is experienced in a reader, they say things
like:
“Sometimes women are simply selfish, controlling, and compassionless”
Of course they
are. Sometimes men are too. Why are we like this sometimes?
Sometimes we’re truly screwed up. Seriously bi-polar. Clinically depressed. Pathologically narcissistic. Hormonally imbalanced. You name
it.
There are many medical/emotional/ psychological reasons that people feel like they have no choice in their relationships but to show up as a dysfunctional ass who has neither the intention nor desire to start acting like a
person who actually deserves a better relationship.
I don’t work with these people. Why?
Two reasons. First, I’m totally unqualified to diagnose or treat those conditions. Second, they would fail miserably in my program – and then they would blame me.
Do you know who does AMAZINGLY well in my programs and makes huge strides in their clarity, confidence, and courage?
Guess who
experiences major shifts in respect, trust, and intimacy.
They are the people who are simply feeling confused, sad, frustrated, powerless, annoyed, irritated, or just plain pissed off.
These are normal, everyday feelings that we can conquer if we choose to. There’s that word again. Choice.
When a man realizes he can actually make a conscious choice to think differently, he finds out he FEELS differently.
When you feel differently, you speak and act differently. And when you are doing this for no other reason than it’s what you want and expect from yourself, everything around you starts to change.
Sometimes women who are simply selfish, controlling, and compassionless start to change.
Why don’t we find out?
Do you want to make a choice for change? Do you want help?
What if there was a PROCESS you could follow that felt empowering and effortless?
What if your procrastination was replaced by a new level of accountability?
What if you invited someone into your life you trusted to help you get this done?
I don’t know anyone like that, but it would be pretty cool.
Lots of Valentine’s Love to You,
Steve
