The problem with many of us “good guys” is that we refuse to take stand and just say no.
And if you have a mentor who is also brainwashed with the “good guy” perspective...you’re in
trouble.
Even “Life Coaches” are trained (yes, that's me) to NEVER tell a client what they should think, or do, or feel about anything. We are supposed to just ask you question after question until you come to your own epiphany. That way you will OWN it and follow
through.
There is a lot of truth in that and guys I work with know I ask really tough questions to help them get clear and confident about the hard decisions in their relationship.
BUT…I will never let you fall off a cliff and crash and burn.
In fact, that’s the number one reason men call me. They are tired of constantly crashing and burning with the women in their life. They want permanent
change. They want an honest assessment of what is going wrong and what they can do to fix it.
Caution: Don’t ask for honesty if you can’t handle the truth. Permanent change for you means you will
have to handle the truth.
The truth about what? Here are some of the most common dilemmas confronting many men. And without proper guidance, they will crash and burn over these every time.
- She has asked you to move out
- She is constantly verbally abusive and vulgar toward you
- She wants you to sleep on the couch – indefinitely
- She calls you a wimp, pussy, baby, butt-hurt, or not a “real man”
- She pulls away from you every time you get close to touch, kiss, hug, etc.
- She criticizes your income, your handyman skills, and/or your bedroom prowess
- She
constantly threatens divorce and/or taking sole custody of the kids
- She is consistently disrespectful to you in front of others and when alone
- She is inappropriate with other men in person and in social media
If you’re a normal man, your gut got more and more twisted as you read that list. And I know my empathetic female readers feel the same way. They are rooting for you.
Each
issue above is wrong. Yes, right and wrong CAN be black and white.
Each one is unacceptable, unhealthy, and horribly destructive to a marriage.
And “good guys” have a long history of putting up with
them.
You don’t want make more waves. You don’t want to make her madder. Maybe if you do what she says she will settle down and want you again.
I am here to tell you (not ask you) that is total B.S. and that thinking is exactly how you got here and is what will mess up the rest of your life.
Every case is different and I can’t tell you exactly what to do in this email. But I WILL be able to help you if we talk.
Let’s get specific. Let’s find out what has programmed you into thinking that crap is okay. Finally respond to it like you must respond to it!
All you need is to build more clarity, confidence, and courage to take a stand.
You are going to be absolutely, undeniably amazed at what changes in your life.
But this won’t happen if you don’t trust someone to help you and to tell you the truth.
Contact me this weekend to start the conversation. Grab your phone, take a drive, take a deep breath, and say “Enough is
enough”.
You've got this.
Lots of love to you, brother,
Steve
P.S. Yesterday, a great man told me, “This confidence has changed me at work too! I told an angry customer he needed to spend $10,000 to fix his problem correctly and it
would be the best $10,000 he ever spent – either that or I won’t work for him. He calmly thanked me and asked me to give him my proposal the next morning.” Thanks for that story, B.G.
