Turning a woman’s mood from irritated to appreciative is amazingly simple. 

But you have to know what you’re doing.  And you have to WANT to do it.

This is a short email from a client who will recognize himself.   He wants to create more appreciation and attraction and when he shared this with me a couple of weeks ago he said, “It felt great!”.

 “I told her I am going back to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday night because it makes me feel good about myself and gives me a clearer mind for connecting with my family at night. I then changed the subject and asked if she would like sushi or Italian for dinner as I would order it and take the boys to pick it up.  She looked at me, didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and said, “Get Italian”. 

This three sentence story has a lot of nuance in it.  Let me dissect it for you.

1^st sentence:  He informed her of his plans.  He didn’t ask her permission or seek to make a negotiation of it.  He has committed to a new regimen of exercise and self-care.  He explained his reasons and expected no conflict.

2nd sentence:  He changed the subject since the first subject was a done deal.  Now he was taking charge of dinner AND getting the kids out of her hair for bit.  Again, he didn't ask what she wanted to do for dinner - he HAD A PLAN.  All she had to do was make a choice of two options - two options he knew she liked, of course.

3rd sentence:  She was speechless because this was new energy, but she liked it.  It was a little out of character for him but she decided to go with the flow and just pick one. 

They BOTH did a great job here.  He decided to make a plan for a change, tell her what it was, and help her get some peace and quiet.  And she made the choice to accept his plan without challenge and enjoy some quiet time.

The moral of the story?

A woman loves a man with a plan. 

It makes it so much easier to respect him and appreciate his efforts to pull his weight.  These are two important prerequisites for her to feel more trust and more emotional safety.

And that leads right into feelings of attraction.  Attraction leads to affection. Affection leads to intimacy.  Intimacy leads to passion.

Is this not what you both expected in your long term, committed, romantic relationship?

How do these things get lost after a few years?  Why do they get replaced with the monotony of everyday chores and obligations?

One big reason is because we forget how to do the dance.  We get lazy.  We forget that we can actually CHOOSE to create feelings of appreciation and attraction.

It starts with making your plan and owning it.

I know.  It sounds too simple.

What if she doesn't LIKE your plan?  What if she won't LET you follow through? What if she hates your new mode of stepping up, taking initiative, and being more responsible?

I can tell you right now that she will probably be a little skeptical.  She may need some time to adjust.  She may not really believe it's real.  She may not trust you.

Why shouldn't you care?  Two reasons.

1.  That's the man you have chosen to be with or without her approval.

2.  She is infinitely more attracted to THAT man than the old one.

If you want more personalized help in learning how to dance again, gain more respect, and create more attraction, I want to help you. 

Just hit reply and tell me YOUR story and let's dissect it together over email.  Let's create a plan to make you feel great again.