This is the question that keeps people in a miserable state of relationship limbo sometimes for their entire life.

Is your relationship mostly kinda sorta, pretty much, just barely good enough to make you want to stay?

Or is it sometimes mostly crappy, kind of hopeless, hurtful and just bad enough to make you want to leave?

Most of us who get stuck in this limbo think the only options are:

Option #1: Suck it up, deal with it and hope something changes

Option #2: Leave for the promise of greener pastures

I spent many, many years paralyzed between these two because I didn’t know there was another option.

Option #3 – Who Knew?

Option #3 is called, “Decide to be better and create better”.

I know.  That sounds overly simple and completely "unactionable", doesn’t it?

What does it mean?  Be better?  Create better?

You’re looking at the wrong words in Option #3.  All you really need to do at this moment is decide.  Make a decision to NOT ACCEPT options 1 and 2.  Make a decision to do something different.

Don’t get stuck in limbo because you’re not sure how to be better or create a better relationship yet.

That’s like refusing to mount your bicycle for the first time because you’re not quite clear on the whole “motion dynamics” thing.  If you just make a decision to ride the bike, you find out there is nothing to be afraid of.  You don’t have to know exactly what you’re going to do.  You know other kids have figured it out and you will too – even if you do crash and burn a few times.

The same thing goes for Option #3. 

You don’t have to know exactly what it means to BE better and CREATE better.  But you can be sure that someone else has figured it out and you can to.  All you have to do is make a decision to get on the bike. 

Once you make your decision to try option #3, you will probably have the same reaction that I and every client of mine has had.  “Why didn’t someone help me understand this a long time ago?”

You see, Option #3 is exactly like deciding to get on the bike.  Once you decide to start BEING a different man and CREATING a better relationship, you won’t look back.  You’ll wonder what the fuss was about.  You won't even think about the other options.

Will Option #3 Save my Relationship?

I can't tell you that.  I will tell you this is is not about saving your old Option #1 “just suck it up” relationship.  Who wants that back anyway?

This is about deciding to learn how to change your attitude and your ability to create a NEW relationship.  The one you’ve always wanted.  The one she wants too.

This is where you finally get out of limbo and become very clear and intentional about the relationship you WILL have in your life.  It’s about committing to new expectations of yourself.

“Is it too good to leave or too bad to stay?” becomes the wrong question.

 The question becomes, “Will she make the decision to join me in this new relationship?”

If she truly wants the same safe, respectful, loving, and intimate relationship you do, her decision should be easy.  She will love the fact that you decided to check out Option #3.

Let's have a serious strategy session on how you can be better and create a better relationship starting tomorrow. Email or call me now.  Believe me, Options #1 and #2 are not nearly as fun.

Just get on the bike already.