Hey Brother,
This is a critical point where a
guy can move his relationship forward or backward.
He's been given a point of view that directly challenges something he said or believes and his blood pressure goes up. Pupils dilate. Palms get sweaty. Anger and defensiveness is
a breath away.
She's called him out on something and she makes a really good point.
Deep breath. You're going to be fine. You've been doing your work.
In this article, I continue looking at the question of what it means to be a
man who is ready for a strong, feminine woman. She will catch you off guard if you're not prepared.
Refer to this article my Mark Groves to get the background story on the "evolved man" warnings he
has for women.
Next on the list of things to watch out for is:
"She will see things in a way you may never have."
At the end of the article, I answer the question: What if she isn't really this woman yet?
Be Prepared for What?
It can be unsettling when a strong, feminine woman challenges you and your opinions. It feels different from what you may be used to. While she is bold and unashamed to directly tell you what's on her mind, it FEELS oddly kind - strangely accepting - and overwhelmingly
respectful. You've just been told you are quite possibly full of crap - and yet you're drawn toward her.
She knows how to share her feminine perspective in ways that make your eyes open instead of causing your teeth to clench. It's
scary how tuned in she is to your manhood and how she affects you. The tone and the word choice invite you join her in a discussion at a much higher level.
You don't feel manipulated. You feel respected.
So what do you say to her? You look her into her beautiful eyes and say (with your own words):
"That. Right there, baby. It's THAT thing you do when you share your ideas and feelings with me that keeps me coming back for more. You may not be aware of it, but I feel so appreciated and respected and LOVED when you disagree with me like that. It's one of just a couple of things I adore about you."
This is the gift she deserves to hear from you. Don't hide it. Don't be ashamed to speak it. Weaker men will take advantage of it or be afraid of it. That's not you.
You are now prepared.
The Real Kicker: What if She's Not So Strong and Feminine Yet?
Are you thinking, "Yeah, but what if my woman isn't so kind? What if her input isn't always so perfectly crafted and feels to me like manipulation and disrespect?"
You're a strong, loving dude. You
will choose to consistently use a tone and words that give her a safe place to respond with the same energy. You will do this because it's one of your core values and you will not allow negative energy to change that.
How do you think she might begin to modify her approach to you when she no longer feels an ounce of control or disapproval? How might the feelings of attraction, approval, and respect change in your relationship if YOU decided that these were non-negotiable - that you will have these things because you will embody those things?
She will begin to see and feel your commitment and self-respect. She will try harder to return the positive feelings you create. She will be more attracted to you and will respect your focus on your own style and behavior instead of hers.
What would it be like to be a man who develops the level of confidence where you will be who he wants to be no matter what she (or anyone) thinks, says, or does in reaction?
It's like a whole different world. All of your relationships change for the better. Some
brand new ones are created. And some old ones will be ended.
This is the trip I take you on. If you feel stuck in a place where nothing will ever change, I assure you, there IS a way to leave that place. The truth is that MAKING A DECISION to leave that place is the only thing stopping you. Ask for help. There are men who know your pain and can show you the way out.
One way to know if you're strong enough or good enough to have the life and relationship you want is to simply ask for help. Yes, I know. It's scary. Don't let that stop you.
Just hit reply to send me an email to share your story and let me explain what getting unstuck feels like. The process will build the confidence you want to feel strong and in control of yourself and your relationship. I
respond to all my email promptly and look forward to seeing one from you when you're ready.
To Better Life and Love,
Steve
www.goodguys2greatmen.com
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