Hello Gentlemen and Ladies,
That happens to be a famous ad headline used by a copywriter named Gene Schwartz. He knew how to get attention. And THAT is the very problem I want to talk with you about.
Don't fall for it. Don't pay attention to the wrong thing.
You're way smarter than that and we both know it.
But you DID fall for it and so have
I. I've opened many emails with titles like this too many times.
Why?
Because I've got the same "wiring" as you. Our brains can trick us into believing that the best barometer of the happiness and health of our relationships is how much sex we have.
· How to Make Her WANT YOU 7 Days a
Week!!
· 3 SIMPLE Secrets to Having Incredible Married Sex
· 7 Days to Make Your Wife INSATIABLE!
· 6 Steps to a Highly Sexual
Marriage
· Nympho Wife as Easy as 1-2-3!
They are almost irresistible, aren't they? These articles are all over the place and they are PREYING on your instinct and false belief that solving your sex problems is the only thing you need to do.
But, as most any professional article
on relationship health will tell you, a lack of intimacy is only a symptom of other things going on in your relationship.
And most of those articles will try to give you more "secrets" about fixing those other things.
You will wear yourself out trying to fix your relationship by reading list after list of these secrets.
Why I Don't Use Simple Sex Solutions to Attract Clients
I don't use sex as a sales gimmick for 4 reasons:
1. You're
smarter than that and you deserve more respect.
2. I'll attract mostly low quality horn dogs for clients.
3. It would be a "Bait and Switch" game you don't need to play.
4. Your relationship health and
happiness does NOT START with fixing the sex problem.
Do I talk about sex and its importance? Yes!
Do I use direct and sensual language to get your attention? Yes!
Do I try to connect with you on the notion that sex is important?
Yes!
I do all this because it is critical you know and feel without a doubt that I get you.
I understand the canyon of frustration and self-doubt we have over sex.
I understand the drought of intimacy your fear may last for the rest of your life.
I don't sell sex as a solution because, on its own, sex has no chance in hell of helping you feel better, stronger, or more confident about the rest of your life.
In
fact:
The men who end up with the best sex lives are those who BEGIN with feeling better, stronger, or more confident about the rest of their
life.
What Now - Another List of Secrets?
Nope.
Here's the truth for both men and women. These are the plain spoken reasons men and women most commonly experience a loss of emotional intimacy and physical attraction in their relationship.
None of these can be fixed with a list of "secret" things to do.
· Uncontrolled and misunderstood anger
· Resentment and game playing
· Fear, insecurity, and blame
· Low expectations of self and others
· Poor communication and conflict management skills
· Unresolved childhood trauma
· Physical health, fitness, and body image issues
· Lack of trust and respect
· Inability to empathize and forgive
· No respect for boundaries and healthy behavior
· Poor personal hygiene and disgusting habits
· No accountability for personal growth and learning
· No self-respect or self-awareness
· No PLAN TO DIRECTLY ADDRESS ANY OF THE ABOVE
At
least ONE of these issues (usually more) preceded your issues with intimacy.
How do I know this?
Because nearly 100% of the people I talk to can fondly remember when closeness and sex used to be so easy, so natural, and so FREQUENT. Not one of the issues listed above was even close to being a reality in their relationship in the beginning.
Now,
a few years down the road, both partners remember the old days and crave those feelings.
So you start clicking on articles that promise to fix your sex life with simple secrets.
And it's clear why.
It is SO much easier than facing the truth.
Believing in Secrets is Easier than Facing the Truth - Or Is It?
No. It isn't.
Facing the truth is more like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurts just for a little bit at first, but then you are incredibly relieved that it is FINALLY gone. You can finally move forward.
Facing the cold, hard truth about your part in your relationship is the most liberating feeling you will ever have. It sets you up for success and gives you striking clarity about what to do next.
Does SHE have work to do too? Oh, you bet she does.
But, messing around with your sex life problems by reading articles, talking to friends, blaming others, and living in misery is the worst form of self-help hell. You end up convincing yourself that you've done
all you could possibly do.
The only possible option is divorce. Right?
Probably not. At least not until you have stepped up to admit that you've been believing your own B.S. and haven't truly started thinking, doing, or saying anything substantially different than you have for the past 10 years.
You owe it to yourself to explore other options.
You owe it to yourself to use this time to learn and grow.
Will it save your marriage and your sex life?
First things first.
Let's work on saving YOU from YOU first. It's your very best chance to improve both.
And I happen to
be really good at helping you see that and ACT on that.
Powerful, personal, and wise coaching is your single best way for you to make the shift needed to change your life.
Grab a cup of something
and your phone and let's plan a lengthy chat about your side of the story.
Who else do you trust to listen to and understand every word you've got to say?
I guarantee that you will learn something you did not know.
Call me today at 970-484-8241 or email steve@goodguys2greatmen.com to set up your first step.
P.S. Yes, I coach BOTH men and women. It's probably best you keep this under your hat for at least our first call. I'll explain why when we talk.
To Better Life and Love,
Steve
www.goodguys2greatmen.com
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