Hello Friend,
What am I sorry about?
I'm sorry I haven't sent this email to you sooner. This is A LOT more important than some of the stuff I send you.
This is important
enough that I'm not even editing this. Just typing this straight out as I think.
No proofreading...so, "sorry" for any typo's. I'm just hitting SEND at the end of this.
I just got off the phone with a close friend that really choked me up and inspired me to write this for you. You know those conversations you have that can get SO personal and vulnerable you know you're seeing a side of someone that almost nobody gets to see?
My friend is recovering from
the terrible shock of a difficult divorce, not living with his kids, and is struggling financially.
Like so many men and women, he did NOT see it coming. Despite their difficulties, he was 100% in love with her and convinced they would grow old together. He REALLY had no idea how much pain she was in.
He has been working for two years to understand what happened. He is working on the parts of him he NOW knows caused some of her pain. It's excruciating for
him to talk about it.
He is sorry. So very, very sorry. So sad. So regretful. So sorry.
I asked him a question.
"Hey Buddy, what exactly are you sorry about. Are you sorry for the mistakes you made along the way? Or are you sorry because you think you ARE a mistake?"
He told me that for the first year he truly believed he WAS a mistake. He believed everything he heard.
He thought he was a horrible person. A bad
father. A rotten husband. A crappy lover. And a worthless employee.
He was feeling shame - the thought that you're bad.
He wasn't and isn't a bad person. Neither am I. And neither are you.
Yes. We've all made mistakes. Some bigger than others.
But when you hear a man or women tell you with all their heart how much they love and miss their children, you know they are not a bad person.
When you hear a man or woman choke
back tears while they explain the love they still feel for the person who hurt them, you know they are not a bad person.
And when you hear a man or woman speak with passion about how their mistakes have opened their eyes and how their pain and guilt is pushing them to be better, you know they are not a bad person.
I wanted to send this email right away because I want YOU to know this clearly.
No matter what you're enduring now, it doesn't make you a bad
person.
Whether you're trying to leave a relationship, save a relationship, or start a new relationship, you are not a bad person.
Yep, there have been mistakes. You have generations of baggage running through your veins just as your partner does. This baggage can lead to a lot of bad decisions and bad behavior.
But it's people like you who pick your chin up and call bullshit. Just like my friend.
He has grown into this brand new person as
result of his mistakes. He still feels the sadness and the guilt. He still wishes things might have been different.
But he is moving forward with a WHOLE NEW understanding of who he is and where he's going. He may even attract his wife back. He may not.
He now knows it doesn't matter. His life is going to be amazing.
We talked about the 5 things he learned that turned him around. These are:
1. Choosing not to be
helpless. Choosing to make a choice to grow.
2. Choosing to be accountable for his thoughts, words, and actions.
3. Choosing to become more intentional about his impact on other's feelings
4. Choosing to study more and learn things he never knew about growth and relationships
5. Choosing the joy of vulnerability...of showing his full heart to everyone
That last one is what he did on the phone that affected me so.
He did this with
the help of other people.
Those 5 things are exactly what happened to me. They happened to me with the help of other people
They can happen for you.
I would be honored to be one of the people to help you.
Let's have a the most powerful, personal, and intense conversation you will have all year.
Shoot me an email to set it up.
It's what we do when we make mistakes. We learn. We grow. We seek the help of
others.
Don't be sorry. Take some inspired action and move forward.
For you local guys, don't forget to register for our exclusive men's retreat at my place on Saturday, July 19th. Spaces still
open at this writing! P.S. Ok, I fixed two typos...couldn't help it! sorry. P.S.S. If you go to my website, you'll see it has TOTALLY changed. It's still under major overhaul and some stuff may not work quite right yet.
To Better Life and Love, Steve
www.goodguys2greatmen.com New Blog Learning Resource Directory HERE!
Lots of FACEBOOK fun here! Go HERE to Read What These Guys and Gals Have to Say
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