Hey there mister,

How are you?  A little groggy after the holiday weekend?  Me too.

So this newsletter will be a little shorter than most.  Or maybe not.  We'll see.

I've been getting a common question lately.

"Steve, I've been doing EVERYTHING I can think of to improve the attraction factor in my relationship and she STILL acts indifferent and uninterested in me at times.  Even cuddling is off limits and it's driving me nuts.  What should I do?"

Before I give you my two cents on that, I want to give you another invitation and reminder about my July 19, 2014 EXCLUSIVE Men's Retreat coming up.

I finally got the web page updated with the information and whopping $75 payment button.

Get details and sign up HERE!

This is by invitation and referral ONLY and is limited to

TEN HIGH QUALITY MEN.

It's cheap because I want to remove an easy excuse you might have for not considering it.

It's going to be awesome, unforgettable, and the beginning of a few great relationships.

You must sign up ASAP by processing payment and receiving confirmation to make it into the first 10.  If you miss it, I will have another, but I'm not sure when.

Click the link below for more details.  It will be fun, casual, a little structured, and VERY powerful.

Email directly with ANY questions about it.

Read about the retreat and why you should come HERE


 

Now.  On to the question.

Why is she acting like she is not attracted to you despite your very best efforts?

There are MANY reasons why she acts the way she does and many of them have little or nothing to do with YOU.

Once we get past the basics of attraction and attractiveness and you have been nailing those with comfort and ease on a consistent basis, women have other hurdles to jump sometimes.

I'll talk about those in a minute.

The Basics of Attraction and Attractiveness

The first part of my coaching work with you is about this.  We get deep into what trust, respect, and emotional safety FEELS like to her.

We talk about learning empathy and understanding her and her limiting beliefs in ways that help you think about her and SEE her differently.

We practice specific ways to develop more masculine RESPONSES instead of boyish REACTIONS.  We work on building respect and attraction by GIVING those things from your masculine core.

We get REAL about personal hygiene and habits that can kill attraction.

Then we get serious about being CLEAR about your values and your personal worth.  We clarify your intention, your purpose, and your PASSION for who you are and where you're going.

And you've been doing better and feeling better at this point than you've felt in years.

And she still has days where she treats you like a leper with syphilis.

And she's not happy about it or with herself.

 

What's Up With Her?

I'm not going to pretend here that I know exactly what's up with your lady.

But what I DO know is that TONS of women know exactly what I'm talking about here.

If you scour women's websites and talk with as many women as I do, you learn a lot of stuff.  Some of this stuff is scary.

And it scares HER more than it does you because you are unaware of what she is thinking and feeling.  Things like:

"I know I LOVE him but, I don't feel the admiration, the excitement and the passion which are such an important part of my life."

"It is a really scary feeling to not be attracted to him or to not ever 'be in the mood.' I have been trying to work on it, but I've placed so much anxiety on the physical intimacy that now the thought of it makes me not want to do it! What's crazy is that towards the beginning of our relationship, this was never an issue."

"I look at a favorite picture of him, I get those same warm and fuzzy feelings... Or crave him... But when we are together, he can just do anything, which under normal circumstances is just day to day tasks and I will be annoyed, or turned off. What's that all about?"

One thing is clear, my friend.  When she has no idea why she is feeling like she is feeling, you don't stand a chance either.

This is why I want you to learn how to not worry about it and to not take it personally.

The Anxiety of it All

Don't think for a second that I'm qualified to diagnose any type of anxiety disorder in you or your wife.  All I want to do here is tell you how incredibly common it is in ALL of us.

Sheryl Paul is a top notch counselor specializing in anxiety in women.  Her practice is full and she speaks wisely on how debilitating anxiety can be in your relationship.  Check out this article:

When You're Not Attracted to Your Partner

I'd like you to use this knowledge to lighten up on yourself and your judgment of your woman when her seemingly "irrational" behavior toward you starts to piss you off, hurt your feelings, or make you avoid her all together.

Just like I explain with my horse training analogies, as soon as you realize what the horse MOST needs from you, everything gets a little easier.

One of the things your partner may need from you most is empathy and strength.

This means you need to become comfortable walking in her shoes without judging her.

This ALSO means being STRONG enough to show her that she will not rattle your resolve to continue being who you want to be.

You're strong enough to let her know in no uncertain terms that this isn't all about you and your feelings.

In fact, you have developed a perspective and new set of skills which allow you to support her and love her without sacrificing your confidence, happiness, and personal mission in this world.

Guess what?

THAT is the man who will inspire her to hang in there, try harder, or seek help from people like Sheryl Paul.

THAT is the man she will WANT to feel attracted to even when her demons are making her resist it.

I know.  Not all relationships end well with these kinds of issues.  There is only so much a man can do and only so much he can control.

Our own anxiety and fear of the unknown will slowly fade when we become confident that we are being the man we want to be no matter what happens.

When you know you are giving 100% of yourself to others without an expected outcome, you will almost always experience an outcome that suits you just fine.

 

Contact me when you're ready to start working on THAT guy.

Maybe a men's retreat could be your first step?

To Better Life and Love,

Steve

www.goodguys2greatmen.com

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