Hello Sir,  (ladies, please don't take offense)

Question:  When is it okay to call a man a bad name?

Answer:  When he asks you to.

This article is all about the man who has reached a critical point in his life.  He has CHOSEN to adopt a whole new set of principles and expectations for himself.

And he is NOW willing to be accountable and to be held accountable by men he respects.

So, if he asks you to call him out and call him a "pussy" when you see him stepping out of line, do him the favor.  Or use "putz", "doofus", "dope", or "bonehead" (which was my personal choice).

Let's not get sidetracked with how horrible it is to call people names.  And I know all about the evils in using female (or male) genitalia as an insult.  Let's focus here.  In this context, the name calling is simply a code word for men that means:

YOU ARE NOT ACTING LIKE THE PERSON I KNOW YOU WANT TO BE.

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.

A man needs whatever it takes for him to see the truth and to course correct to get in alignment with his core principles.

Sometimes it's a 2x4 to the head.  Sometimes it's divorce papers. 

And sometimes it's another man delivering a well-placed kick in the ass.

 

When a Bonehead Gets Kicked in the Ass

I've been involved with a community of some pretty unbelievable men.  I met them before I learned I was getting divorced.  Cried with them during my divorce.  And solidified my resolve with them after my divorce.

In the most caring, loving, compassionate way possible, they kicked my ass "real good".

When I would tell my complaints about women, whine about fairness, and argue about what I deserve they would swiftly help me see my own issues.

In no uncertain, but very brotherly ways, they helped me unscrew my own head and take a hard look inside.  Then they challenged me to look at the scars on my heart.

These incredible men "pushed me around" until I could see the truth about my past and what my future holds. 

They held me up with undying commitment to show me how to discover my REAL value.  My real power.

This is when the trip of shame starts.  For ALL of us.

 

Guilt and Shame

As Brene Brown says, guilt is the feeling that we've made a big mistake.

Shame is the feeling that we ARE a big mistake. 

Have you ever felt this?  Well, you're wrong, buddy.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you that makes you a mistake.

Have we MADE mistakes?  Sure.  This can lead to guilt.  Guilt is actually good.

Part of my program is the "One Hour Guilt Trip".  Every guy needs one solid hour to feel remorse and regret for his mistakes.

Then he gets to make a big decision.

Am I going to be beat down the rest of my life by the mistakes I've made?

Or am I going to USE THIS GUILT to launch me into a whole new way of thinking about myself and my value in this world?

Go ahead.  I'll wait while you think about your choice.

 

How to Emerge from Shame and Guilt

There is NO BETTER WAY to get on the launching pad toward the rest of your life than by engaging with other men - "initiated men".  These are men who get you.  Men who have been there.  Men who have walked in your shoes and have found another pair of awesome shoes.

When you finally bust out of your whiny, rejected, hurt, angry shell and decide to become part of a brotherhood who KNOWS you, you'll never look back.

Why?

Because you will experience something powerful.  You will FEEL something that has been missing from your relationships.  That feeling of acceptance and belonging.

It's called "love", bro.

You'll never look back because it is with other high quality men like you where you learn that feeling love and receiving love can only be achieved when one thing happens.

You must learn one simple fact.

You are incredibly, irresistibly loveable.

But if YOU don't believe this first, you will have an uphill battle toward love.

You will come to understand that LOVING YOURSELF FIRST is the only way to have the life you want.

It also happens to be the most rewarding, joyful road you can take.

You've got options

1.  Get started at the July 19th Men's Retreat at my place.  There are only 5 spots left.  10 people TOTAL.  Email me if you want in.  steve@goodguys2greatmen.com

2.  Go here to learn about the 3-session coaching packages that will get you going in the right direction

3.  Go here to learn about the Premier Coaching Packages like the Masculinity Tune-up or the Epiphany Ridge Trail

4.  Go here to just schedule a FREE coaching call.  This is not a sales pitch.  This is real live, powerful coaching to discover what you really want and how you can get it.

I don't do free calls to just get to know you.  I waive my first call coaching fee for high quality men who are serious about doing some serious work.  You may not wish to continue, but at least you will know exactly what you will be missing.

If you're local to Northern Colorado, let's grab a beer or something in town.

Will this change your life?  Probably.

Here are the words of a really great man who completed only 3 sessions so far. 

I found Steve while being in the midst of the self-development process and on the path to improving my marriage. I was already familiar with some main concepts that Steve was advocating but I have been overwhelmed with different strategies and techniques learned from various sources.

Steve helped me clear up my mind, helped me believe in myself and designed a specific action plan that best fit my particular situation. Steve has gained a great insight into the complex nature of man-woman relationships and has knowledge and tools to help men improve themselves. Steve's listening and understanding skills, his knowledge, compassion and dedication to my situation was beyond my most optimistic expectations. After each of my sessions with Steve I felt tremendous uplift, confidence and a clear vision of what I needed to succeed in resolving my issues.

In my opinion Steve earned himself a place among the best life coaches on the market today and I would recommend him to anybody who is looking for getting a top notch life and marital advice.

L.S. - Canada

Thanks, L.S.  A bit lofty maybe.  But I'm so grateful to have met you and to now call you a friend.

To Better Life and Love,

Steve

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