Whoa, wait a minute, my friend.

Let me explain at the very start of this.  I'm not talking about the size of your package.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

I am talking about that little voice inside of you that makes you act like a...yeah, you guessed it.  A BIG prick.

A Story About an 18 year old Little Prick

I was sitting at this really cool restaurant patio with a brand new client the other day.  Before I go on, I want to tell you how brilliant this guy is.  He's also a good man with a huge heart and is extremely talented in his business.

I'm sure he won't mind seeing this story here because he now knows that you and I and every other man has a very similar battle to fight.

We had been working on a number of things during our meeting.  The big concern for him is learning how to create more feelings of safety, respect, and attraction with a woman he is absolutely NUTS about.  She feels the same about him, but...

She is sometimes hurt and worried about how his brashness and over-the-top opinions can really affect her feelings toward him.  It makes her concerned about their long-term potential together.

His language choices, his tone, and his attitude all seem to transform (negatively) whenever he gets involved in "hot button" conversations.  In both private and social settings he can turn abrasive, disrespectful, and downright scary when he gets "passionate" about politics, religion, or social issues.  He even tried it a few times with me during our meeting.  I had to laugh.  And I did!

It was so funny to see him morph into Mr. Nasty whenever he talked about some of his beliefs.  It was a ridiculous, out-of-character switch that just flipped.  His default mode was to go on the offense and try to shock people with his position.

 

Then I challenged him with a question.  "Who the hell is talking for you right now?  That doesn't even seem to be the same guy I just spent the last 45 minutes with."

He answered, "I guess that's my 18 year old prick that comes out to play sometimes."

 

Like I Said, Smart Guy

He was already aware of something I talk about all the time with men and women.  It's that pain-in-the- ass teenager that lives inside of each us for most of our lives.

Mine happens to be 15 years old and we get to chat every now and then.  I've learned to thank him for showing up and giving me another chance to grow.  I'm dead serious.  Being grateful for negative feelings is a POWERFUL antidote to negativity when you use it correctly.  I highly recommend this approach to anyone.

In his book "Hold on to Your NUTs", Wayne Levine talks about the process of "Silencing Your Little Boy".  ($10 on Kindle - it's the first book I require you to read)  This is all about getting clear on where our uncertainty, insecurity, anger, and fear really come from.

 It's about replacing the REACTIONS of a confused and scared young boy with the RESPONSES of a clear and confident MAN OF VALUE.

I've seen high powered executives have melt downs and tantrums in front of 100 people.  I've watched adults at little league games get into fights.  And most of us can admit to saying and doing things to the people we love that we later regret.  In each case the little boy or little girl inside has come out to play.

It can be frustrating and embarrassing.  It usually leaves us feeling worse about ourselves and having little explanation for what happened.  Blame is all we can muster.

In the case of my client, he can clearly see that his 18 year old little prick has a long genetic programming.  His grandfather and father both share the same traits and with the same results in their relationships.  They were generous in passing down the same behaviors and destructive habits.

Most nuts don't fall very far from the tree.

 

What is a Person to Do?

The most powerful way to finally overcome your behavioral programs and destructive emotions is to TALK TO THEM. 

Becoming a man or woman of VALUE means learning to replace old programs with NEW PRINCIPLES.

We must openly and honestly acknowledge and confront our negative thoughts and feelings if we want to change anything about ourselves AND our impact on those we love.

When my client started seeing his 18 year old little prick as the childish punk he was, he felt relieved.  He immediately adopted a very clear, firm, FATHERLY position with him.  He gave him a name.  They had a heart-to-heart chat right there in front of me.

There was about to be some BIG changes around that house.  I received an AMAZING email of gratitude from his girlfriend the following Saturday when he introduced his little prick to her.  She felt nothing but love as they also talked about her "little diva".

Showing compassion for each other's "young'uns" is an enormous demonstration of love and understanding.

Practicing this continues to help me every day in my own life.  My 15 year old little prick is the source of creeping self-doubt. 

He is the source of my worrying about what other people think.

He is the energy behind my tendency to avoid difficult confrontations and to speak my truth.

Whenever we have our "father-son" chat, everything gets MUCH easier!

This is the FUN Part

This stuff may sound a little "out there" to you.  I know it felt a little weird for me when I started it.  But you know what?

The process of FACING YOUR OWN CRAP head on is a blast when you learn to laugh at it. 

When you find out that EVERY SINGLE MAN you know has the exact same issues, some weight will slide right off your shoulders.

When you start hanging around with other people who aren't afraid to talk about it anymore, you gain ALL THE POWER.   Anyone who has been able to make you feel scared, unworthy, or unappreciated will LOSE their power over you IMMEDIATELY.

The fun part is finally learning how to "father" your little prick and to accept some support from other men.  Yes, this is fun work, but it's not always easy.

We are our own worst enemy sometimes and we all need help from each other.  We need to call each other on our bullshit and hold each other accountable to being better - to being the man WE want to be.

That's why I'm here - to help you get there.  I'm no "expert".  Be careful with self-proclaimed experts.

I've traveled many of the same roads as you.  I'm work in progress just like you.

I've learned important things I believe you need to know and act upon soon.  I'm not the least bit afraid of your little prick.  All he needs is love and understanding.

This is how I know I will help you get where you want to be MUCH QUICKER than you can do on your own.  Most of us will never get there without a kick in the butt and some serious brotherly love.

You just need to be strong enough to ask for help.  Kind of like asking for directions, dude.  ;^)

 

What About the Little Girls?

Good question.  My next newsletter will be talking about her.  Stay tuned.

 

What's Next for You?

This is where the scripted "Call to Action" sales pitch is supposed to go.

Instead, I would rather the call to action be something you feel very personally and very emotionally.

This is how I feel about helping you in any way I can.

I don't give FREE Discovery Sessions to talk with just anyone.

I waive my initial coaching fees for people who inspire me.  Your loyalty moves me.  I'm willing to SHOW you what powerful coaching really FEELS like.  Set aside about 2 hours.

I will work only with committed people who can also challenge ME and help me grow.  I've said before this is a selfish journey I'm on.   High quality men help each other grow.  You and I can help YOU grow, change, and CREATE the life, career, and romance you desire.

I happen to be available to you.  You have to figure out if you like, know, and trust me enough to begin your journey with my help.  As my mentor asked me, "What the hell else are you spending money on these days that is worth a crap?"

Click on this thing HERE to read more about the results you should expect and why a choice to ACT is totally risk free.  We will create the perfect, custom opportunity for you to grow, change, and CREATE.

Here's my most recent testimonial from a great guy from New Orleans struggling like the rest of us.  We only had 4 meetings (plus TONS of emails) together.  He's going to be just fine.  And I'll always be there for him.

"During my first phone call with Steve I was in tears at some moments about my relationship and general emotional status.  However, on that call I also felt really comforted by the possibilities of working toward being a better man and getting my woman back.

I just finished my 4th meeting with Steve...  I'm not yet fully back with this woman that I love, but I am now calm, confident, and actually looking forward to diffusing any and all potential situations that might arise when I interact with her.  I'm enjoying my life for myself and enjoying the time that I spend with her.

Reaching out to Steve and other men is a great step toward being the man you want to be for yourself and all those surrounding you.  I know I'll still need more moving forward (and forever)... but I'm excited about it.  Thanks Steve!'

Gabe H. - New Orleans

To Better Life and Love,

Steve

www.goodguys2greatmen.com

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