Hey! How are you doing today?
Are you a "Passionate Married Man"?
How about just a "Passionate Man" thinking about getting married?
Guys like us have it rough sometimes.
Our passion is about SO much more than sex.
Why is that so hard for women to understand??
Quick story about me and why I get you.
In 1987, one year into my marriage (we lived together for a couple of years) I was wondering if I made a mistake.
On a summer night riding 3 across in my buddy's pickup - his wife in the middle - I found myself crying out the window so they couldn't see me.
John and his wife had been married for 4 years already and were talking about the sex they had the night before. It wasn't graphic, but they wondered if my wife and I had tried the "crushed ice in the mouth" trick yet?
(Google those keywords if you need to.)
Why was I crying? Because OF COURSE I had never tried that!
Because my wife was NOTHING like John's wife! GOD, I wished she was!
It's NOT that all I wanted was a crushed ice blowjob. NO!
What I wanted was to feel desired. To feel attractive. To feel sensual. To feel appreciated and trusted. To have what THEY had!
I wanted to feel LOVED enough that she could be sexually playful with me.
That's how I defined and measured love back then. Sex was NOT "all I thought about" dammit, but it meant a LOT to me.
Still does - but differently.
The pain in that pickup truck ride was real and raw.
But life went on like that for another 25 yrs. You get real good at covering up the pain with other activities...don't you?
Holy crap I've learned so much since then!
This is what I want to teach you if you'll let me.
This gets a little deep - so stay with me. This is what I want you to understand.
What I've learned is that my wife was not like anybody's wife.
She was her own person with her own wants and needs. She had her own baggage. Her own fears. Her own insecurities. She was like no one else.
Just like me. Just like you.
Stuffed inside her were thoughts, ideas, fantasies, and desires about her marriage that didn't come true.
The ONE MASSIVE MISTAKE
I learned is that we
MUST meet our women where they are RIGHT
NOW...not where we wish they were or think they
"should be".
WHY?
Because this will allow us to CHANGE OUR THOUGHTS about who she really is and who she really needs to help her feel trust, safety, and DESIRE.
Changing our THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS is the ONLY way to begin building the trust, safety, and DESIRE she needs.
Every minute we spend in the world of blame, disappointment, resentment, and negativity will cause her to move away and protect herself just a little bit more.
This is EXACTLY WHY she cannot feel attracted. This is why she has no choice but to reject your sexual advances.
She is in no position yet to understand why YOU think about sex and what it really means to you. You've heard me say it before.
You have to go first and
lead.
HOW?
My early years were chocked FULL of thoughts, words, and actions that screamed to her these things straight from my own insecurities.
-
You're not sexual
- You're not affectionate
- You're not sensual
- You're never aroused
-
You're not appreciative
- You're not touchy-huggy
- You're not respectful
-
You're such a bitch
- You're not attracted to me!
I had NOBODY in my life to help me see the truth about who I was being and how I affected her.
I had NOBODY to teach me the truth about who she was and what she needed from me.
The things I thought about her when I first met her were no longer in my brain. Where did THESE go?
- You're a beautiful, soft, sensual woman
- You're a product of your childhood just like me
-
You're a great friend
- You're a dedicated and hard worker
- You're a generous entertainer
-
You're an animal's best friend and savior
And NEW thoughts I learned too late...- You're uncertain about your future
-
You're uncertain about my love
- You're vulnerable and scared for many reasons
- You're in need of emotional safety - every single day.
Guess what happens when you see her every day with THESE thoughts in your head?
Guess what happens to the nature of your words and your actions when THESE thoughts become your new truth?
Every dynamic in your relationship changes!!
Conversations, housework, child care, and LOVEMAKING ALL GET EASIER!!
I can tell you what happens to most men when they learn this.
They cry. Sometimes to themselves and sometimes to me.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
There is SO MUCH more to know about moving forward.
How do you deal with YOUR pain?
How do you deal with her ability to make you feel horrible on some days!
How do you GIVE to her the gifts I describe when she is not giving them back???
I have these answers for you. I really do.
And the tricky part is that the answers are NOT the same for each man who reads this. Every situation I deal with is personal and unique.
This is a selfish endeavor of mine. I'm growing too. I'm learning too.
I meet amazing men. They inspire me to keep going.
I get to hear them say things like, "This last week was really good! I can feel things starting to change!"
I want this for you too.
Let's have a chat. You can tell me anything.
By the way, I changed the title to my upcoming project for you:
"The 3 Cold, Hard Truths That Make Passionate Men Agonize Over Attraction & Sexual Intimacy"
It covers a lot more than the "tip of the iceberg".
Email me if you are interested in an early release copy and I'll send it to you personally.
steve@goodguys2greatmen.com
While you're at it, this is a test to see if you've read this far. Email me now to answer this question:
"If I were to pursue this topic and get more help. I would prefer to:"
a. Read about it in a book
b. Talk about it one-on-one face to face
c. Talk about it one-on-one by phone
d. Talk about it in a live group workshop
e. Hear about it in a private online webinar
f. Hear and see about it in video
g. Hear about it on MP3 recordings
Pick only one. Your favorite one!
All who answer by 11-13-13 will get a $10 Home Depot Gift Card. Include your mailing address with your answer.
To any family members reading this, no, this doesn't apply to you.
To Better Life and Love,
Steve
Office: (970)484-8241 Cell: (970)219-2148 www.goodguys2greatmen.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Goodguys2Greatmen/411519595607618
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