Hello!  How are ya?

Thanks for opening your email today and allowing me a minute to send you some support.  There's no link to click on today.  This email is it.

I'm sure it sounds a little sappy, but I think about YOU everyday.  I read, I write, I think and I wonder about how you are doing.

Of course, this assumes you're a person (most of you are men) who is trying to figure out how to have a more satisfying, respectful, affectionate, and passionate relationship.

One thing about your situation that is different from ALL the guys out there trying to get dates or impress their current girlfriend is that YOU have a history.

Your wife KNOWS you like nobody else and she KNOWS your history of how you think about her, speak about her, and behave around her.

And that's also the problem. 

After a few years, we ALL fall into patterns of thought, speech, and action.  That pattern can have an ATTRACTIVE force or an REPULSIVE force.

You can tell what kind of force you are putting out by the way she behaves toward you. 

You wouldn't be getting my emails if you felt that your force was highly attractive, would you?

How do you change this?  You've heard me say it before.

It's your CONFIDENCE.

Confidence in WHAT?

There TEN core elements of the kind of confidence you need FIRST for your OWN well being.

These SAME elements are what will determine the nature of your force toward women:
ATTRACTIVE -or- REPULSIVE.

Achieving relationship confidence with respect to:

• Beginning an intimate relationship
• Sustaining and nurturing an intimate relationship
• Surviving the END of an intimate relationship

...means developing the feeling and awareness of your power to:

1.     Know and affirm your own personal worth

2.     Comfortably declare and defend your personal values

3.     Separate your personal value from the reactions and choices of others

4.     Seek and understand the true needs and desires of your partner

5.     Grasp your ability to think, say, and do things to support their needs

6.     Boldly give your gifts without expectations or conditions

7.     Communicate your dreams, desires, and expectations without shame or apology

8.     Support your partner's dreams, desires, and expectations without fear or resentment

9.     Know with striking clarity no matter what choices are made by your partner, you deserve to pursue your dreams and desires and will do so without guilt

10.  Consistently choose this frame of mind for yourself and to create the most loving and supportive environment for those in your life.

I  know what you're thinking....how in the hell do I do THAT?

Gandhi said it best.

"Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny."

These claims are just another way to say:

We become what we think, what we say, and what we do, and what we value. 

This is a basic truth for any person who wishes to achieve personal growth.

It's way too easy to read and watch inspiring and motivating stories of self-help wisdom and feel better for a day or two.  I call this Self-Help Hell.  It's the never ending cycle of reading, hoping, wishing, and blaming that comes to people who want to avoid the intense work of looking inside and accepting responsibility.

It's much harder to actually begin the daily, consistent practice required to build the foundation of skills and energy of a confident person.  But, it's the only path to success.

The most successful people I have known have transformed themselves with the help of other people.  They surround themselves with mentors, supporters, and peers who understand and share their goals.  They don't spend too much time inside their own head and even less time thinking about what others are thinking or doing.

Successful people are ACTION based because they know it's the only way to sharpen their abilities. 

The sooner they act, the sooner they fail. 

The sooner they fail, the sooner they learn. 

The sooner they learn, the sooner their confidence will grow!

If you want a mentor, supporter, and a peer to support you in your growth, that would be me. 

If you want someone who has been in your shoes and gets you, that would be me.

If you want someone who will not judge you, but WILL hold you accountable, that would be me.

If you decide to choose someone else, wonderful!

Just remember that YOU taking ACTION is your only path to success.

Your next step?

It's simple.  But not easy.  If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

But you're different - aren't you?

For today, think hard about the 10 core elements of relationship confidence above.  Assess how well you understand what each one means for YOU.  Then decide if you want some help to get the clarity you need to move forward.

Then sleep on it.

Tomorrow is a new day.  Your first day of action.

Let's chat soon.  Click here for contact info -->  Call or email. 

The FIRST step is talking about it.

To Better Life and Love,

Steve