Hi Gang!
Someone predicted I might get a few "unsubscribes" from last week's "TALKING DIRTY" email.
Not one person did. I knew you could handle it.
Quick note before the FREE GIFTS thing. If you use Google's gmail system, you may not realize that my emails to you are probably not making it to your primary inbox. You can change that easily. Check out this simple instruction when you have time.
Click HERE to learn how to eliminate the Social and Promotions Tabs in Gmail
**************************************************************************************************
Now, about the FREE GIFTS.
I've been working hard on my upcoming "Confident Manliness" (still working on that name) course and wanted to share just one of the homework or "life work" practice assignments from this course.
Yes. A homework assignment is my gift to you. Deal with it.
Now it's your turn to give a gift.
I've included a slightly modified assignment for my lady readers.
I KNOW you don't always realize this, but YOU have a secret power to change the course of anyone's day with your words and your touch.
The ONLY requirement is that your words are true and your touch has no strings attached.
What am I selling here?
Nothing at all.
It's important to me that this gift is used as intended.
It is a learning and growth opportunity.
You need to know that little efforts and successes like this are the foundation for your continued growth.
There are DOZENS of exercises like this I will be providing for you.
Each one is designed to help you gain confidence in this fact:
If you choose to use it, you have the power to positively influence EVERY relationship in your life.
The assignment I describe below is about you giving a FREE GIFT of WORDS and TOUCH to someone you love.
I want you to do this over the weekend at a time you pick!
If you are comfortable, email me the story of how it went. How you felt. How she or he felt. What went wrong. What you learned.
This assignment is the very first step in reclaiming your POWER and CONFIDENCE to create warmth, safety, and attraction with someone you love.
This assignment has NO OUTCOME in mind. It is "strings free". I don't even want you to hang around for acknowledgement, reaction, or a thank you.
The ONLY goal is to create positive feelings.
Some of you will get a sexual response. I'll explain below what to do with that.
Confidence is a HUGELY important skill to master in ALL of your relationships.
Yes. Developing your relationship confidence is a SKILL.
Confidence is NOT a PERSONALITY trait reserved for the genetically lucky.
Confidence is a CHARACTER trait that we can choose to develop - just like honesty, compassion, or kindness.
Confidence is an awareness of your power to act in right, proper, or effective ways, regardless of the situation and reactions of others.
I want YOU to feel the power of this kind of confidence to rock her or his world in the next two days!
YOUR GIFT TO HER:
(modify this as needed to sound like YOU and to be absolutely true for YOU)
At a time when you are in the same room together privately (kitchens are great for this), I want you step behind her and put your strong, manly hand on her lower back (not her ass). Let her feel your strength and tenderness. This is a "sensual" touch - not a sexual touch.
Don't worry about her reaction. Don't explain yourself. You're GIVING her something. You're not GETTING a thing.
Lean in toward her face, look into her eyes and tell her,
"I want you to know something. I think things about you that I should say out loud. You are important to me. I admire you and all you do to keep this place together. I appreciate how you make me feel. I'm proud you are my girl. I love you."
Then kiss her forehead. Don't ask. Be bold. Just do it.
Then walk away. You need NOTHING in return because that's who you are.
This is a "Hit and Run" gift you can give her ANYTIME you choose.
This will rock her world if you truly mean what you say.
She may approach you for sex later. Be very careful. This could be a test.
She may think you gave your gift with hidden expectations. She may be wondering if it was all a ploy to have sex as we men are prone to do.
Do NOT have sex with her if you think she is initiating out of guilt or obligation!
Be sure to tell her something lighthearted like, "Jeez, can't guy just talk sweet without being pressured for sex?" or "Hey, I don't need sex to show you I love you, you know that, right?"
If she is sincerely attracted to you, then by all means go for it. But be generous. Make it about HER. Let her feel how much you meant what you said.
More feelings. Fewer words. Less is more.
YOUR GIFT TO HIM:
(modify this as needed to sound like YOU and to be absolutely true for YOU)
At a time when you are in the same room together privately (any place is great for this), I want you to say, "Hey. Come here a second."
Don't worry about his reaction. Don't explain yourself. You're GIVING him something. You're not GETTING a thing.
This is going to be BOTH a sensual and sexual type of touch. You want to keep his full attention for about 10 seconds. You want him to feel your strong femininity and physical comfort with his body.
Walk right up to him, grab him by the waistband of his pants by slipping your 4 fingers into his pants. Pull him tightly to your waist and look into his eyes and say,
"I'm glad you're my MAN. I don't say that enough but I think it. I love you."
Then kiss him briefly on the lips. Don't ask. Be bold. Just do it.
Then walk away. You need NOTHING in return because that's who you are.
This is a "Hit and Run" gift you can give him ANYTIME you choose.
This will rock his world if you truly mean what you say.
He may approach you for sex RIGHT THEN or later. Be very careful. This is your chance to build him up or break him down.
He may think you are trying to initiate sex. If you are, fine. Go for it and make it about HIM. Be generous. Let him feel how much you meant what you said.
If you are not trying to initiate sex, tell him something similar to, "Hey buddy, sometimes I want to be able to tell my man I appreciate him without getting naked. I need to know I can do that anytime I want to. We can make time for us later."
Then actually follow through at some point later. Don't think he won't remember.
Hug him. Pinch him. Let him know you find him desirable. We LOVE that stuff!
****************************************************************************************************
Good luck with your assignments! Looking forward to hearing from next week.
To Better Life and Love,
Steve
