How To Stop Your Self Confidence Fluctuating Due To Your Wife's Opinion Of You

Published: Mon, 07/06/26

Updated: Mon, 07/06/26

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call this Thursday 9th July at 12pm mountain time.

The topic for this call is: What is healthy independence and why it matters to your quality of life?

We're going to talk about:

What is healthy independence?

How is it different than “codependence”?

What does “interdependence“ look like?

How does your (and hers) insecurity sabotage the ability to be independently self-respecting and independent from controlling others?

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 7 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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When conflict and sexual frustration have developed in a relationship, there has been a long history of unhappy feelings and bad behaviour from both people.

Your partner knows all about the negative energy you have both created. While she is feeling unhappy and emotionally exhausted, she also knows how she has come-up short in how she has been treating you too.

When a woman feels like this, it’s impossible for her to feel sexually attracted to you.

But often us men don’t feel the same way.

We tend to think that connecting sexually now would help reconnect and sooth the bad feelings and negative energy that you’re both feeling.

She thinks this is INSANE.

This is a huge turn-off for her. To her, you wanting sex right now feels unattractive, needy, un-manly, and a little desperate.

There’s no way that she’s going to want to have sex with someone she’s not attracted to.

She knows that she’s treated you badly, so how could you possibly still feel attracted to her and want to have sex?

If you consistently make sexual advances toward a woman who is feeling unattractive she will also find YOU unattractive.

If you request sex from a woman who KNOWS she’s been both acting unattractively and not showing that she’s attracted to you, she WILL lose respect for you.

There’s a very old cliché that goes: ‘Women need to feel intimacy before having sex – men need to have sex to feel intimacy’.

Clichés are born for a reason. There is a lot of truth to this. But you’re not a slave to it.

So what can you do?

In this video we discuss a change you can make in how you’re showing up in your relationship that can flip a switch and rekindle affection, trust and respect in your relationship.

How To Stop Your Self Confidence Fluctuating Due To Your Wife's Opinion Of You

She will only trust you enough to be intimate and sexual with you when she knows you're good in yourself without her.

You must choose a new principle for yourself and starting operating by it today. The new principle will mean taking sex off the table unless the feelings YOU require are present.

The new mindset requires you to raise your standards and expectations for HER to earn sexual intimacy with YOU. You are the prize here, not her. Scary stuff, huh? I know. That is a critical mind-shift.

It’s time you hit the reset button and starting acting like the prize you were before things got rough.

It’s time to remember and embrace the YOU who was irresistible to her in the beginning, before bad feelings and bad behavior became a problem.

Taking sex off the table until your conditions are met is essential.

These conditions are FIRST about meeting the expectations you have for yourself in regard to how you feel and how you treat her.

These conditions are ALSO about her choosing to meet your expectations for how you want to feel and how you expect to be treated.

This is called “setting your boundaries” – first for yourself, then for her.

This isn’t easy work. It’s a huge change for most of us. We can help you understand this and exactly HOW this is going to go for you.

You could carry on with how things have been, or you could make the decision to DO something different. Something new. I guarantee you’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself.

If you want to learn more about how to take a big, confident step toward being the prize in your marriage, then let's talk...

Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current issues you're facing and what to do instead to improve things starting today.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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