How To Determine If You're Not Compatible Anymore

Published: Fri, 07/03/26

Updated: Fri, 07/03/26

Hey brother,

Have you ever heard, thought or said things like this in your relationship?

That's it. I'm so done with this!
THAT is a deal breaker!
You're crossing my boundaries!
This is non-negotiable!
We're just TOO DIFFERENT to be able to live together
We've grown apart
We're totally incompatible!

Those are the types of things you hear in a marriage a few months (or years) before someone finds themselves with divorce forms in their hand...holding a blue ink pen. And then they check the "Reason for Divorce" box that says:

Irreconcilable Differences.

It's a fancy legal term that means, "I don't fucking know, but it's the one that feels about right."

Are there valid differences and valid reasons for divorce?

Of course, there are. But if I was a betting man, I'd bet the overwhelming emotions that precede choosing the "Irreconcilable Differences" are:

Anger
Resentment
Unhappiness
Exhaustion
Confusion
Fear

And those emotions are true for BOTH people...which means they have a whole lot more in common than they thought!

Declaring that your differences are irreconcilable...or deciding that you are totally incompatible from a place of deep, dark, negative emotions is like grocery shopping when you're hungry.

Don't trust yourself.

Slow down. Eat something. Make a list.

Yeah, I got divorced. And I can tell you precisely why I decided I didn't wish to be married any longer. But I did the work first.

I made sure I wasn't declaring "irreconcilable differences" from a list of all the things I DON'T WANT. I was working from a crystal clear list of what I DO WANT.

And without fear, anger or blame, I was able to make a calm, confident decision on my next steps.

I want this for you before you jump to any wrong conclusions.

I want you to have a chance to actually focus on creating what you DO WANT instead of throwing in the towel on what you DON'T WANT.

I want you to find "happy" now...instead of thinking it's somewhere else...only to find out you were wrong.

I want you to clearly understand what are truly "irreconcilable differences" and what is "garden variety fear, insecurity and immaturity".

Funny. There's no box for that on the divorce form. Nobody would admit that's really the reason they can't be happy.

Here's a quick video to give you a bit more insight on that.

How To Determine If You're Not Compatible Anymore

Do you want to give yourself AND HER a chance of living with the best version of you?.

There is no shortcut. And there is no faking it.

The work we do with men totally rewires their thinking and their emotional strength to become clear, confident and happy in their life and relationship.

If you're struggling to determine whether your relationship can improve or if it's time to choose to end it, then let's talk...

Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current issues you're facing and what to do instead to improve things starting today.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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