How To Stop Taking Things Personally And Create More Connection With Your Wife

Published: Wed, 06/17/26

Updated: Sat, 06/20/26

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call tomorrow, Thursday 18th June at 12pm mountain time.

The topic for this call is: How To Stop Feeling Like You're Always Getting It Wrong And Start Knowing You're On The Right Path

We're going to talk about:

What are you measuring "getting it right" by?

Who gets to decide what's right or wrong?

How do you know what's right for you?

Where in your life do you feel most confident that you're getting it right?

How can you be more in that state of feeling on the right path in every area of your life?

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 7 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

*****

One thing we're always repeating to the men in our community is:

"You have way more power & influence than you realise"

The problem is that most men have been brought up to "not cause women any pain or discomfort" and this has trained us to be passive.

We avoid any conflict in our relationships and then believe that just because we don't get mad, that she should be grateful and love us for our amazing ability to not fight with her.

Maybe you've heard her say, "Why don't you ever argue or get cross" or "You never have an opinion about anything and it's drives me crazy" or the common "I have to make all the decisions around here."

But often underneath this avoiding of conflict we're just so anxious and fearful of what might happen if we really did say what we thought or felt right then.

We're quietly seething with resentment and frustration at her lack of affection and the distinct lack of companionship, closeness and intimacy in the relationship.

Our fear of conflict has kept us blind to the truth that is a fundamental, foundational block of connection, respect and affection...

That foundational block is Presence.

What do you do when you talk to a woman and she isn't open to your invitation to connect?

This applies whether it's a woman you've never met, someone you're dating or someone you've been in a relationship with for a few or many years.

What stops us from being present?

You know...those times when she makes a comment or refuses to engage with you in conversation and you spiral off into an anxious state of trying to work out what to do or say to "make her open up".

It's that freak out that happens internally.

We want her to love who we are.

We want her to be attracted to us.

We want her to find us interesting.

And when she doesn't we get quiet.

What's really going on here?

You don't feel like you're good enough.

And that's just about the shittiest feeling any man can have.

Your mind goes into overdrive analysing WHY she's being this way?

We feel inadequate, unattractive, unworthy, unvalued or unappreciated.

And she has the key to us feeling whole and happy again.

But what if you could catch the anxiety and self doubt BEFORE it took hold?

What if you had a trusted friend - or group of friends - to learn how to manage this?

What if you learned how to use that tightening in your chest as an opportunity to become MORE present?

What if you could reset your THOUGHTS and immediately feel more confidence instead of unsure?

What if you could have total trust in yourself to RESPOND with curiosity and humour?

I talk more about this in the video below:

How To Stop Taking Things Personally And Create More Connection With Your Wife

Your ability to "self regulate" your emotional state is like having the keys to a Ferrari - if you can't do it, you're never going to start her engine.

It's so easy for us to get triggered and immediately start going into stories in our head about "Why this relationship sucks", how it's "Never going to be what I want it to be" or if you're with a new woman you might be wondering "Is she even attracted to me?"

All of these thoughts have a key outcome in mind...

You need her to respond a certain way to feel good about yourself.

Anxiety is one of THE MOST COMMON issues that men we talk to in our coaching community struggle with.

How do you get past your anxiety?

You must get new tools and a new way to think about what's happening.

You must decide to own how you want to respond to her on YOUR terms.

It's amazing what happens when a man decides to take a deep breath, chuckle at himself and then own his response.

No more reacting. No more anxiety. No more shutting down.

If you want to stop feeling defensive and taking things personally and start feeling more consistently calm and confident again then, let's talk...

Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current issues you're facing and what to do instead to improve things starting today.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

************

Please know you are always in control of your subscription to this newsletter and the use of your email address. You signed yourself up and you can “unsign” yourself anytime you please by clicking the “Unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this email. I will always respect your privacy and personal data. You may email me directly if you ever have any questions or concerns about the use of your personal information.

Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options