Why Women Lose Attraction When You're Overly Apologetic

Published: Thu, 03/05/26

Updated: Thu, 03/05/26

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call, today, Thursday 5th March at 12pm mountain time.

The topic for this call is: Is This the REAL Purpose of a Woman in Your Life??

We are going to talk about author David Deida's assertions in the book The Way of the Superior Man. His writing and thinking can feel cryptic...sometimes spiritual...and often confusing. Let's get real about what it means to be a man for a woman...and what it means for her to be a woman for you.

We're going to talk about:

Can a man or woman really be doing anything to make their partner "better"?

What does it mean if a woman is able to "inspire you out of your head and into your heart"?

What does it mean to be able to "f*ck her heart wide open"?

Does all this require some kind of intense "role playing" or extreme polarity?

What if you're both "strong" personalities...or both "passive" personalities?

What does it mean to be a "leader" without coming across as dominant, directive or superior?

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 7 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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Are you tired of saying “I’m sorry” and getting nothing in return

A common complaint men have about women is that they never say they’re sorry…for anything…ever.

Here’s what I know about these men. I know this because I was one.

My frustration with a woman’s inability to apologize was caused by my desire for reciprocation.

In other words, I spent so much time apologizing for everything I just wanted to hear her say it back – just once!

And therein lies the curse of the apologetic husband.

The more you accept blame and apologize the more angry and frustrated you will get about her not doing the same.

What if you just stopped apologizing?

What if you decided you had nothing to apologize for?

A guy like that will never get an apology from a woman. She knows his “apologitis” (a new disease I just made up) is caused by his desire to make her like him or approve of him.

I used to apologize for everything thinking that’s what nice guys do, right?

We fall on our sword. And women should dig that. The more we apologize, the more she will think we’re honest, kind and trustworthy.

And then she’ll want sex “fer sure!”

Wrong again. To her, “apologitis” feels tremendously annoying, manipulative, unmasculine and unsexy.

Why?

Because the only reason we are doing it is to make her like us or get her to apologize in return. It’s another one of those secret deals the “nice husband” makes to manipulate her into giving him what he wants.

And she can smell that on us at the molecular level.

Do you see now why it’s a losing proposition?

I talk about this more in the video below:

Why Women Lose Attraction When You're Overly Apologetic

What Stupid Things Are You Apologizing For?

I want to challenge you to go “cold turkey” for 30 days. Stop apologizing for stupid things.

What stupid things, you ask? Here’s a quick list off the top of my head.

Do you make any of these apologies on a regular basis?

Apologize for her being mad

Apologize if she is upset about anything

Apologize for her bad news

Apologize for working late

Apologize for wanting sex

Apologize for being attracted to her

Apologize for just wanting to help

Apologize for being a man

Apologize for wanting time with your friends

Apologize for wanting affection

Apologize for not being able to read and listen to her at the same time

Apologize for touching or kissing her

Apologize for waking up with a raging erection

Apologize for not reading her mind

Apologize for not knowing what is bothering her

You Have to Stop Saying Stuff Like This!

This is what it sounds like.

“I’m sorry if this doesn’t make you happy”

“I’m sorry that me just trying to help you makes you mad”

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong”

“I’m sorry if wanting a kiss upset you”

“I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable when I initiate sex”

“I’m sorry your parents are absolutely freaking nuts and you feel like a victim and controlled by them.”

I’m not saying you should stop being a kind, compassionate, empathetic, caring and considerate man.

Do you think you would notice anymore if she wasn’t apologizing?

I think not. But that’s going to be hard, isn’t it?

That’s because some of us tend to apologize for anything and everything – even if we’ve done nothing wrong. Have you ever had a friend like that?

I’m saying you should stop with the “apologitis”. There are much better, more attractive ways to handle those issues.

The truth is you’re really not sorry for those things.

You’re just saying so because that’s what “nice husbands” do.

You’re hoping maybe she’ll say she’s sorry too. Maybe she will appreciate you more.

Don’t do that.

I challenge you not to apologise for thirty days.

Can you do it?

Email me and tell me how it feels.

I predict you will feel liberated.

And you just might hear your first apology from her!

If you're tired of being an overly apologetic husband, we can help...

Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current state of your marriage and what to start doing to improve things right away.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

P.S. We are NOW taking deposits for the incredible and famous Confident Man Ranch Retreat in May, 2026. This powerful experience may very well drastically improve the next 10 years of your life.

Why "famous"? Here is the GQ article that tells you all about it.

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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