Why Women Need Emotional Safety To Want To Be Intimate With You

Published: Mon, 02/23/26

Updated: Mon, 02/23/26

Hey brother,

First, I want to invite you to our next group coaching call this Thursday 26th February at 12pm mountain time.

The topic for this call is: Whether Married or Dating...How to Deal With an Insecure Woman

We talk about male insecurity all the time. But, what about the insecure partner? How does HER insecurity show up and how can you respond to it?

We're going to talk about:

Is there such a thing as a woman being "too clingy"?

Is is it wrong to want LOTS of touch and daily check ins?

How insecurity can make her act like a "Helicopter Control Freak"

Where's the line between needing emotional safety and needing a constant emotional support human?

Where's the line between "jealousy" and "reasonable relationship expectations"?

How insecure women try to emasculate men without even knowing it

This is going to be a great conversation! If you're looking for a new mindset to keep moving forward, you'll love this Roundtable session!

If this call sounds interesting to you, join our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching Community here.
(You'll also gain access to 7 years of recorded previous group coaching sessions and our private Facebook community).

Now onto today's newsletter...

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Working with horses has taught me a ton about women and relationships in general. Everything makes total sense now.

The one thing you have to know about horses to build a strong,trusting, connected, mutually satisfying relationship is this.

Horses (& Women) Are REACTING TO YOU ALL THE TIME!

Every single aspect of your relationship with a horse is a reaction to who you are and how you are being.

If you don’t get that you’ll believe that everything that happens in relation to that horse is outside your control. You’ll think the horse is an insane, irrational, over-reactive bag of fear and anger. You will feel like you have no ability to create a new reality.

And so it is with women.

And so it is with every single aspect of your life.

My mission is to teach you this so you can create a better reality for yourself.

I’m not saying others don’t have responsibility for how they show up with you. Of course, they do. But you have total control over how you choose to respond to their choices and behavior. And when you realize and embrace that secret power of yours, everything will start to change for you.

I want you to become a highly capable, competent, relaxed leader of your own life so you can have more of everything you want. I want you to feel so calm, deliberate and pleased in your own skin that nothing rattles you anymore.

Do you want that for you?

Here’s the problem most of us men are facing.

We’ve been taught that circumstances simply occur to us and the best we can do is react to them. In other words, most men think the world happens to them. They don’t know how to happen to the world.

A man can change his own circumstances anytime he wants.

But there are two reasons men don’t do this:

They don’t know how and have never been taught.

They are secretly afraid of the consequences - afraid of what other people will think, say or do in reaction to them.

The key to you changing your current circumstances and becoming a man who gets what he wants is facing those two barriers now - not later.

And when you do, I can promise you, you’ll be grinning from ear to ear.

I demonstrate what I'm talking about in the video below:

Why Women Need Emotional Safety To Want To Be Intimate With You

A man who refuses to learn how to happen to the world will find himself constantly playing catch up and getting emotional & reactive

When I'm working with a man on understanding the perspective of a woman, I use many analogies - any analogy - that clicks with him.

One of the most effective analogies is “talking” to horses. Horse training or “whispering” is a long time fascination and hobby of mine that has numerous helpful insights into the language of women.

By language I am referring to the whole body of communication including verbal, non-verbal, and physical communication. This communication also includes intuition and perception.

Horses and women share an exquisite and nearly supernatural ability to sense the intentions of others.

Both can send and receive signals that are imperceptible to a common man. And both expect us to “get them” regardless of our limitations.

A man must embrace this reality and choose to learn to operate in harmony with it.

Stated simply, to be successful with horses you have to learn a whole new language. You have to learn a whole new perspective on what a horse NEEDS. You have to learn that you will eventually FAIL with training horses if you don’t understand and act upon ONE TRUTH.

That truth is:

A man who chooses NOT to deeply understand their language and their needs will eventually lose them. This applies to both horses AND women.

Over time she will lose her:

Emotional connection to you
Trust in you
Respect for you
Cooperation with you
And her willingness to try anything

A husband who refuses to learn and understand this will continually make mistakes that drive her crazy and he will never know why.

In many relationships the unfortunate result is that she will decide to get her needs met somewhere else and with someone else.

She feels that she had no choice.

Just like the horse trainer who has failed to understand how to make a connection with his horse, the husband is left wondering what happened.

The GOOD NEWS is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Even in horse training where the horse is entirely shut down and distrustful, there is hope.

Reversing the downward spiral can be done when a man adopts a new commitment to learning and sets higher expectations for himself.

With an authentic and consistent effort, a man will learn how to create emotional safety with her.

He will learn how to give love and respect in ways that SHE wants to receive them.

He does this without expectation or pressure to receive anything in return. It is just who he is.

A natural result of his unconditional love will be a renewed connection of trust and respect.

Mutual giving and receiving can now happen more comfortably which allows attraction and intimacy to grow.

He will learn to accept responsibility for creating environments in which others can be drawn to him…to trust him…to respect him…to thrive!

His new mode of living will forever change HIS life and the lives of those he loves.

This is the man he was meant to be.

Want to get started learning this stuff with us straight away?

Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current state of your marriage and what to start doing to improve things right away.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

P.S. We are NOW taking deposits for the incredible and famous Confident Man Ranch Retreat in May, 2026. This powerful experience may very well drastically improve the next 10 years of your life.

Why "famous"? Here is the GQ article that tells you all about it.

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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