From Hummingbird to Mountain Lion
Hummingbirds are nervous little fellers. Uncertain and
twitchy.
They don’t trust anyone or anything. Always questioning.
Anxious as hell hovering for their turn at the feeder. And with a flying heart rate around 1000
beats per minute I wonder why they just don’t explode in mid-air.
Can you relate?
Hummingbird Energy Is A Guaranteed Libido
Killer
I’m a leading authority on the hummingbird husband. I was one for many years and I can now spot it easily in the men I work with.
It’s a syndrome that’s sure to leave you feeling agitated with yourself. And it’s a guaranteed libido killer in all wives. One hundred percent of them.
Did I mention I’m an expert?
We’re not bad husbands.
We’re actually really super guys.
A little “overly involved” perhaps, but we mean
well…maybe.
We’re just being attentive. Possibly too attentive.
But we just want to know what’s going on.
We want to know what she’s doing, where she’s going, who she’s talking to, who she’s texting. We want to know what she’s buying, why she needs it, why is she late and how could she possibly not know she was driving on a flat tire. Doesn’t she know that will ruin a tire?
Hummingbird husbands ask lots of questions. Rarely simple statements. Rapid fire innocent inquiries are our specialty.
It’s exhausting for both of us.
And here’s our dirty little secret about our overwhelming concern for her well-being. When we keep asking: “Are you okay? What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Why are you mad? How are you doing?”
…what we’re really asking is “Am I
okay?”
Am I Okay? Am I Okay? Am I Okay?
When I was in my hovering days, this was the underlying question behind most of my questions.
Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Do you still love me?
Do you still want me?
It’s embarrassing as hell to
admit I was that guy for some time.
I sought continual reassurance that everything was okay. That I would be okay.
Insecurity sucks.
And it’s magnified about 100 times toward the end of a marriage.
It’ll eat a man alive.
If you can relate to any part of the hummingbird husband’s story, I want you to know one important fact. Do not doubt me on this. Remember, I am a leading authority.
You’re okay.
Really, you are.
All of that blabbering, hovering and interrogating is just a little self-doubt.
Your overactive mind and anxious heart is just a matter of a little self-esteem recalibration.
While I am definitely not an expert on male insecurity or the underlying baggage causing it, I do know this. You have the power of choice.
I’ve witnessed too many men simply choose to stop with the hummingbird behavior and adopt a healthier perspective of themselves and their lives.
They did enough introspection and inner work to allow themselves to experience an epiphany. A
BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious). It sounds like this...
“My wife and my marriage are not and have never been the source - or the measure - of my value. I’m okay, dammit. I’m okay!”
When these guys decided to change their operating system, it was like moving their mojo setting from hummingbird to mountain lion. They embraced a whole new demeanor.
It’s best described as a calm, deliberate and pleased energy.
It’s not an act. They really are a mountain lion.
They feel cool headed, secure, regal, aware, curious, playful, loving, protective, brave, sensitive and caring.
You may find them on a high rock casually flipping their tail and letting out a huge yawn before taking a nap in the sun.
No more doubts.
No more questions.
Heart rate - 40.
From that vantage
point, anything is possible.
My mission is to help you get as clear - and eventually happy as a clam - as I have.
Once you figure out how to consciously move your mojo setting
from "Hummingbird" to the "Mountain Lion" mode, your life changes.
You're calmer. More relaxed. More giving. And you give a whole lot less of a crap what anyone thinks about you.
Your relationship changes. Your confidence changes. Your sex life changes. Your conversations change. You sleep better than ever. You show up ever stronger at work and in friendships.
Insecurity will ruin a man and it almost ruined me.
The embarrassment of feeling like a hummingbird kept me from asking for help or guidance for YEARS.
Believe me, I know exactly how hard it is to hit the reply button to this email and just say something like,
"Hey, me too."
And if that's hard for you, then actually signing up for a deep phone conversation with another man like me is terrifying.
Yeah, but so is lot of
other stuff you've done and you survived. So give it a shot.
I'm inviting you to a conversation that might change your life. It did for me.
Just two friends
chatting.
A guy told me a couple of days ago after our call, "Holy crap. I got more benefit and confidence from this call than I ever got in 6 months of couples counseling and therapy."
True story.
Why?
Because there is mountain of information and truth you will never hear in counselling.
They don't know how to talk "man talk".
They don't even believe in it.
They think everything is about communication and cooperation and negotiation.
Hog wash.
You know
better, don't you?
