Why Intimate Men Always Have More Intimacy
The FIRST problem I had in my marriage was that I considered there to be only one synonym for "intimacy".
And that was SEX.
Yep. I had the dreaded disease called "Sex Brain".
My brain measured the concepts of love, connection,
compassion, empathy, affection and intimacy with ONE gauge. The SEX GAUGE.
And if my gauge measured from zero to ten, I would begin to show signs of insecurity, anxiety and frustration when the gauge dropped below a seven.
What I've learned over the last 13 years is that women (including my partner), want to experience ALL KINDS of intimacy, with a safe, confident man who is pleased with himself.
In other words, the "kind of
man who gets a lot of intimacy all the time".
My problem was that I didn't understand that TRUE INTIMACY goes a lot deeper than touching and getting touched in the bedroom.
Here are some examples of intimacy most men never master, therefore, they never get the intimacy they want.
- Laughing without restraint
- Crying without
shame
- Sharing without hiding
- Listening without judging
- Dancing without caring who's watching
- Being vulnerable without fear
- Being quiet when you don't know what to say
- Touching without needing to be touched
- Backing off without feeling abandoned
- Accepting without disappointment
- Empathizing without shaming
- Connecting without a hidden agenda
- Loving without strings
- Making love with a fully open heart and body
