Why Too Much Calm Confidence Can Sabotage The Connection In your Marriage
Published: Tue, 06/02/26
Updated: Tue, 06/02/26
Hey brother,
I've got a LOT of clients who are IT professionals, engineers, doctors, lawyers and other techie types who are apparently misunderstanding something I teach.
I'm no exception.
I was in computer manufacturing, engineering and project management for 20 years. And when it came to those skills helping me in my world of love, marriage and sex...well...let's say it didn't serve me well.
Why?
Because my professional background beat into my head the only way of effectively communicating was with cool rational thought, confident and logical speech and
unwavering attention to facts and consistency.
Being perceived as smart and being RIGHT was always my top of mind priority.
How does this work in your love
life?
It doesn't - unless you're sleeping with your clone.
Remember Lilith Sternin - Frazier's wife on Cheers? Yeah. If you married to her you're
fine. Stop reading. (this whole clip cracks me up!)
The tip I want to give my brothers in this email and video is this.
Don't take to extremes my
advice about being "Calm, Deliberate and Pleased".
Taken to extremes we act like robotic, stiffs who have no ability to connect emotionally.
Being calm is good. Being aloof is not.
Being deliberate in your actions is good. Acting like Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) is not.
And being pleased with who you are is good. Self-righteous smugness is not.
The most powerful and attractive you'll ever be is when you balance your masculine strength of calm, deliberate presence with the human
strength of emotional confidence and vulnerability.
It's a potent cocktail and it's a wonderful place to find yourself.
Pickup
artists teach men how to fake this so they can manufacture respect and get laid.
I teach men how to transform themselves so they will respect themselves and be confident as they change their circumstances.
It's only the truly self-reliant, self-respecting confident man who is naturally secure in his own skin. He doesn't go looking for happiness - he IS happiness.
Big difference.
Are you ready to really learn how to handle your wife's emotions, where you make her feel understood AND you still feel confident in yourself at the same time?
Then book a coaching call with us - we will help you get clear about what you want, what's holding you back from having it and how to live with a consistent sense of mojo and confidence in the future.
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Lotta
love,
Steve &
Dan
************
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