Too often men tell me that they're sick and tired of being
constantly rejected, dismissed or shamed when they really do want to connect and enjoy creating something fun with the woman in front of them.
When you get upset at her initial reaction to your invitation to connect, it's a choice that you're making, and it's one that doesn't help create the
connection you really want.
We are far too quick to take her initial reaction personally and turn it into a story - we embellish and extrapolate way more meaning than the reality.
You make it mean something about you - but it's not about you.
I'm not saying that you should ignore your feelings - your body is an incredibly intelligent system, always providing useful information about your mental, physical and emotional state right now in this
moment.
But it's important to understand that your FEELINGS are indicators of how you're thinking about the situation in front of you. We ruminate on these stories and judgements, trying to predict and interpret what someone is thinking or feeling without ever actually taking the time to find out what is
REALLY true for them.
When you invite a woman to connect with you and she initially says no, you can choose to take that information and look at it from the standpoint of "She must not be attracted to me" or "things in this relationship are not OK."
But, that doesn't help you, it doesn't help her or the relationship either.
When you make an invitation from a place of being genuinely interested in understanding what's
behind her reaction (why she responds that way), you're taking the first step in a dance and inviting her to join you.
A man who can see her "No" and her "Yes" as steps in a dance - necessary steps even - is a man who can create opportunities for connection wherever and whenever he
wants to.
Women LOVE this type of manly confidence.
It's not bravado or alpha.
It's just a man with an honest love of the excitement and interplay of the energy of connection.
The uncontrollable beauty of life.
Like the surfer who can't wait to get out on the ocean and experience what she has to offer today.
It may be cold and flat, it may be raging and dangerous...
But it's not about catching the perfect wave, it's about enjoying every moment to the fullest.
And that's exactly how it feels to a woman to be in the presence of a man with a magnetic
confidence.
He's not focused on the result. He doesn't need to be.
He gives all he has to offer to each moment and each interaction and because he lives with his
heart fully open, her heart can't help but open too.