Why Trying To Talk More When Your Wife Is Pulling Away Seems To Make Things Worse

Published: Fri, 05/01/26

Updated: Sat, 05/02/26

Hey brother,

Decades ago when I was in corporate America I attended a leadership training class.

The instructor opened with a joke.

"Studies have shown that the least liked and least effective leaders use these two words too often...WE and SHOULD".

As in, "We are a team!" and "We are winners!" and "We are the best at what we do!"

And, "You should always been continuously improving." and "You should align your personal mission with our vision."...and so on.

The survey concluded, "Employees hate it when managers WE on them and SHOULD on them."

That's what this video is all about.

Except I'm replacing the word "employee" with your "wife/girlfriend".

Enjoy this 4-minutes of me telling you how you "could" think and respond differently. Yeah, I'm gonna "should on you" for just a bit...with love

Why Trying To Talk More When Your Wife Is Pulling Away Seems To Make Things Worse

How much have you been We-ing and Should-ing on her?

If you're like most of us, you are used to getting to the bottom of things quickly.

You troubleshoot, analyze, fiddle and figure out anything or anything that is getting in your way. (That's me too)

And when your wife/girlfriend presents you with a "problem", you may then see HER as a problem and HER behavior as something needing fixing immediately.

After all these years, I can tell you that grasping for logical solutions and demanding rational explanations will plant you firmly on her AVOID AT ALL COSTS list.

You might say...and you will..."Well, shouldn't I expect her to have some level of common decency...recognized normalcy...and a level of respect that ANYONE should give at a time like this??!!"

Yeah...did you just hear yourself? If that's something you've been thinking or saying out loud, I'm thinking it's time you talked with someone.

There's a better way. And you will feel calmer, less offended, more confident and clear headed than ever. You might even grin.

If you’re not currently showing up - consistently - with a strong sense of confidence, happiness and an occasional grin, you’ve got some work to do.

If you're ready to stop the constant anxiety and overthinking and start feeling more calm and confident in yourself again then let's talk...

If you feel like this might be just what you're looking for Apply for a free coaching call with us - in one 90 minute call, we will help you get clear about what to stop doing that's contributing to the current state of your marriage and what to start doing to improve things right away.

What You'll Actually Get From a Call With Us

Watch the short video above to understand what you get from a free coaching call with us.

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

P.S. We are NOW taking deposits for the incredible and famous Confident Man Ranch Retreat in May, 2026. This powerful experience may very well drastically improve the next 10 years of your life.

Why "famous"? Here is the GQ article that tells you all about it.

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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